tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post5789422149813002559..comments2023-11-03T22:16:57.302+13:00Comments on Baby on my mind becomes baby in my arms!: Staying behind the closed doorclewishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892147307925513178noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-45676112555002156752011-01-05T14:18:46.862+13:002011-01-05T14:18:46.862+13:00I do have plenty of great support from friends and...I do have plenty of great support from friends and family. that isn't the problem. More me that's the problem, trying to behave like im ok.clewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04892147307925513178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-25887374178984704142011-01-05T12:30:05.766+13:002011-01-05T12:30:05.766+13:00Sometimes I let people in but othertimes I find it...Sometimes I let people in but othertimes I find it easier to keep it within. There are those that you know will be there but I find it hard to talk to people when they get that glazed look or perhaps think god this is all she talks about. That is why I like blogging as you guys will always listen! With the lack of empathy - I hear you and understand. All problems are important to those that have them but not being able to have children is so painful you just want to say them I will take your bad hair day any day of the week!!!Chonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11078580707826544482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-10903052179123050052011-01-05T09:20:49.228+13:002011-01-05T09:20:49.228+13:00I've been very pleasantly surprised that some ...I've been very pleasantly surprised that some of the people that I've allowed a peek of some of my misery have been very receptive. It's been quite amazing, really! Allow people in, and although there are some bad apples, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised too...Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524692943966582775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-59870111167382208422011-01-05T07:59:31.811+13:002011-01-05T07:59:31.811+13:00Part 3:
Also I think it’s ok if during this diffic...Part 3:<br />Also I think it’s ok if during this difficult time you minimize your time w/ both people who are not understanding of what a difficult time you’re going through as well as those w/ kids during times when you’re esp. emotionally vulnerable & can’t handle it at that moment. I don’t think that’s being rude. I think it’s you recognizing there are some things you can’t deal w/ right now during this incredibly stressful time & that you need to take care of yourself & not try to do everything right now. I’ve heard it suggested that one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to surround ourselves w/ people who support us on our fertility journey & to minimize contact w/ those that don’t.Mannihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12616041277533906186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-18341429900391372162011-01-05T07:58:53.440+13:002011-01-05T07:58:53.440+13:00Part 2:
I have one non-IF friend who is open to fe...Part 2:<br />I have one non-IF friend who is open to feedback when she says things that are unintentionally hurtful. For example, “it’ll all work out. I just know one day you’ll get pregnant” as things like that make me mad bc 1. Comments like that minimize my current feelings & 2. I may not ever get preg & sometimes I feel like I need to come to terms w/ that as a possible outcome. But I’ve found if I tell her when things she says are not helpful & why, she’s very receptive to that feedback as she wants to be there to help me during this difficult time. So I agree you should take a peak & find out who out there can be there for you in the ways you want/need right now. & that you be honest w/ them about what you need if you think they’ll be open to that feedback. & let your friends take care of you as I’m sure they want to.Mannihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12616041277533906186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-42290490057865394252011-01-05T07:28:46.068+13:002011-01-05T07:28:46.068+13:00What you are going through and how you are acting ...What you are going through and how you are acting is completely expected and okay.I went through it, going though it..and I have read so many blogs and talked to a few friends that acted the same way. This is a very scary unknown territory and we are going to be pricked and prodded and things are going to change. But with that said..I am going to tell you what my friend told me...keep my mind set on the bigger picture...<br /><br />YOUR BABY!!!<br /><br />I hope you can absorb that a little. I know I was not able to for a long time...I am not sure I am able to completely. But I know..that is the bigger picture!! as for letting in friends...I have one friend..I trust and I tell her everything..I am sure your friends want to be there for you.marilynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08744558677574158093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-62675326189168524962011-01-05T05:04:11.440+13:002011-01-05T05:04:11.440+13:00First, thank you for the kind words on my blog.
I...First, thank you for the kind words on my blog. <br />I completely understand where you are coming from - I too am angry and it is exhausting trying to put on the act that everything is fine when it clearly is not. My brain is also on overdrive thinking about all of the options (or lack of), money, treatments, etc, etc, etc. I am tired. and I am sad and mad and everything else. It would be nice to close the door and just become a hermit!E and Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11960045172275370437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-51257002653295292412011-01-04T22:56:45.330+13:002011-01-04T22:56:45.330+13:00I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it just ea...I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it just easier not to put ourselves out there, I do it to protect myself and it allows me to get a grip on my own emotions before I deal with others ....Then sometimes I think am I going to wake up in 10 years time & regret isolating my friends/family. It's such a hard call...I have learnt to trust a small few & they have seen my warts & all and that has helped.Eatlovehopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18133322513905612150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-18472097943324607022011-01-04T17:40:01.589+13:002011-01-04T17:40:01.589+13:00We can't expect fertiles to understand if we d...We can't expect fertiles to understand if we don't let them have a peek of our life. I suggest a screen door so they can see but only allowed in if we unlock the door..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-3848439868894949982011-01-04T16:54:34.466+13:002011-01-04T16:54:34.466+13:00It is quite hard to let people in when they want t...It is quite hard to let people in when they want to help- I think it's a self preservation thing with infertility,for me it's so I don't have to deal with the pity, or the sometimes well-meaning but insensitive comments that come with it. <br />But I like what cgd has said too about a little peek, and sometimes I have found the greatest support in the most unlikely of friends!Antshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03108331684125032167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-54871132083542246832011-01-04T16:14:45.801+13:002011-01-04T16:14:45.801+13:00haha.I like that. a little peek.....haha.I like that. a little peek.....clewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04892147307925513178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7771938526847818894.post-19332967315589343342011-01-04T16:12:24.789+13:002011-01-04T16:12:24.789+13:00This is the hard part, deciding how much or how li...This is the hard part, deciding how much or how little to let other people in. I certainly go through phases with it. I say, start peeking out. If it doesn't go so well you can always run back inside. <br />thinking of you...cdghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174907373129154516noreply@blogger.com