One of my non blogging friends referred to my blog as her morning paper, she reads it every morning religiously and gets either a laugh or some thing else out of it for her day ahead. What a rubbish morning paper it has been lately!
So after this comment and all the other comments from bloggers I have decided how could I stop writing when not only do I enjoy it but I seem to be helping and giving woman a laugh when they might just need it on a rough day. I think I was just having a moment where I didn't really know what to write, "writer's block" so to speak, I cant really get myself a muse for some inspiration because I am my own inspiration really, I'm not writing fiction so I need to pull something out from what is happening in real life, and I guess some days I just have nothing at all to say. I got up, I worked, I ate, I went to bed, not exactly riveting. But I'm still here and I will keep writing about my pregnancy.
So picture this - pants that are made of track suit material but look like black skinny jeans. Heaven! I was given a pair of ripe maternity pants that are just amazing, they are the most comfortable things I have ever worn, I highly recommend every woman should own a pair, and I don't just mean every pregnant woman, who the hell needs jeans when you can have these little treasures covering your caboose. They are kind of like Jeggings but thicker material so you don't feel like a fatso just wearing leggings with no skirt. As I said Heaven. These are my new favourite thing.
Favourite thing number two - buying little itsy bitsy shoes, oh dear god, these are just the cutest wee things on the planet. clearly they serve absolutely no purpose, after all my little boy isn't going to get up and go for a walk to the shops at 3months old, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't wear shoes. Yes I could just take him out in socks or booties but why not whack a pair of ultra cute shoes on the boy. I have brought 3 pairs of 3 - 6mths old shoes and plan on having a whole load of them (so there you go people, gift idea right there, hint hint). I still think perhaps I shouldn't buy stuff as he could still turn out to be a she at the 20 week scan, but I just cant help myself, I don't mean too, it just happens. Oh well bugger it, its making me happy, if he turns into a she well then Ill just put away all the boys stuff and pray the next one is a boy. I don't think the 20 week scan will show any different, I'm either having a boy or a 3 legged girl either way there will be shoes on feet.
Favourite thing number three - desserts. I kind of wish this new obsession would go away, this cant be good for my waist line and the worst part is now I have no idea what is extra fat and what is the baby! I have gained about 1.5kgs, which doesn't really seem like alot considering how big I seem to be getting. I literally feel like I'm going to explode some nights, my belly is so hard and feels ready to pop open at the seams, not that this stops me from shovelling in some more cake! as I have said before I have always been a real savory person, I didn't have much of a sweet tooth, well this is all out the window since my little bubba has made himself at home. Last night I made the worlds hardest rock cake you have ever had, I swear if you threw it at a window in an aeroplane (you know the ones, that the glass is so thick they aren't meant to break), well if you threw this cake at that window it could crack the whole window open and then the cake would come spiralling back at you and hit you in the head and kill you. It was hard. A stogy hard cake. Anyhow I am over that and onto the next baking disaster, today I made a lemon and apricot slice, this turned out great actually, so sweet but so good. I also plan to make a sticky date pudding with gooey caramel sauce tonight so we will see how that goes.
Most frustrating thing at present - Now this one links into the reason the cake was so hard. Memory and brain function in general = ZERO. Yes for some reason being pregnant turns you into some kind of thicko who can barely remember your own name led alone a cake in the oven. So yes the cake was hard because I literally had no recollection of making one, even though there was plenty of dirty cake bowls and spoons lying around and a smell of cake wafting out of the oven to give me a hint something was cooking, I forgot. And this isn't the only incident, I went into the supermarket the other day to get a tin of tomatoes, that was it, I got in there and had not a clue what I wanted, no fucking idea!! do you know how frustrating this is, what the hell was I to do, I walked round and round and for some reason brought a 1kg box of fish cakes, not quite tin tomatoes but that's what jumped out at me. Do you want to hear more? well this is a goodie, the other day I asked gardener guy to please bring in the washing for me (yes I am saying please these days), and he brought it in, I folded it all and put it all away. So about 20minutes later I open the window and shout out " Hey, I asked you to bring in the washing! can you bring it in"!!, he looked at me confused and said "are you serious", I then looked at him confused and replied," ah well yes", he then replied " I already brought it in, you folded it and put it away"!, oops..... don't recall that but as I look out to the empty washing line I realise this must be true. loopy aye!. So in a nutshell don't invite me anywhere because chances are I wont remember to turn up.
Upcoming events - Well our midwife appointment is this Tuesday since the last one never happened, get to hear the heart beat again and I will be 15 weeks pregnant! whoa!. Then only 5 weeks till 20 week scan! hopefully in next few weeks I feel the baby move, I expect to feel faint fluttering like movements, apparently I will know them when I feel it, but so far I dont think I have, but any time now! how cool will that be. Or the lazy bugger will just be sleeping all the time due to an overload of dessert.
So although this now weekly paper may not exactly have all the hard hitting international events on every page it will still have plenty of truth, which is something reporters strive so hard to get out of a story and so rarely seem to achieve, so here my truth will continue to fill these pages and give you a smile hopefully as we can only take so much of reading about earthquakes, terrorists, poverty, murders and all that stuff, sometimes we just want to wake up, have a nice strong coffee and curl up on the couch and read something that starts the day on a happy note. And that is what you will get, as long as I can remember what I'm meant to be writing about!
So here we are in the second trimester! at 14 weeks pregnant my baby is the size of a lemon and funnily enough I'm so into eating lemons! I'm just batty for lemons, I put them with everything and I don't just mean a squeeze here and there, oh no, I mean full on slices on lemon! Skin and all! Frozen fish cakes (cooked obviously), with lemon slices are just fab, weird huh!. I'm also feeling really good, after all the excitement of finding out the sex of the baby I have got very used to having a boy and am really into it. I feel like having a little boy is right and I'm so looking forward to meeting him.
So the news is as follows - we had our 14 week midwife appointment last night and we turned up all ready to discuss everything and our midwife had to dash, she needed to go and deliver a baby! so we quickly went in and got my blood pressure taken which was fine and lied down on the bed and the midwife used her Doppler to listen to the babies heartbeat. It was nice we got to hear the heartbeat again but that was it, she quickly booked us in for a proper appointment next Tuesday. I got a text from her this morning with our babies down syndrome results and he is at low risk of down syndrome so we are pleased with that.
In other news the constipation has eased off a bit and I seem to be almost back to normal on that front. As said above I'm loving lemons, still loving ice cream, am not feeling quite as tired, mind you I sat on the couch today with the two boys racing around me and could barely manage to get up, I felt so had it. Apparently I should start to get that weird hair line over my belly soon but so far its not there. My belly is getting bigger by the second and is feeling really hard, I'm actually starting to look pregnant and had a comment from one of the boys mums today that I was looking pregnant. Some clothes are getting damn uncomfortable, so in the next week or so it will be "here I come maternity clothes". I am not sleeping on my stomach at all anymore as it squashes my melon like boobs and makes me worry I'm hurting the baby!
I have been thinking about giving up on the blog as I don't really think anyone gives a shit about my updates anymore. When I was trying to conceive and was doing treatments there was always someone interested as they were doing the same and we all needed support and a place to air all our dirty laundry, but now all I'm doing is writing about how happy I am and silly pregnancy stuff, do I really need to keep blogging? I'm not sure. I know initially when I got pregnant I said I would continue but am not so sure now, or maybe I will just leave my blog open and do a post maybe once a week, even if it is just a small one, yes think that's what I will do at the moment. I still continue to read the blogs I have always been following and offering supporting words and will keep doing so.
Thanks for listening, me and my little lemon are off to lie down on the couch as reach for a bowl of ice cream and perhaps a few slices of lemon on top.
Well well followers, haven't I got some interesting news for you.
Yesterday we had my follow up scan to see the baby after the bleeding episode. I was nervous as usual, I just needed to see the baby to get that final confirmation that it was ok. Gardener guy was very certain that all was fine so his stress levels were zero and he probably was thinking I'm a mad woman, but hey hes not the one carrying this child now is he.
The sonographer was really great and we were there for ages, so she looked around at all the different body parts and took pictures of them all and was just really really lovely and took the time to explain everything. After seeing that of course the baby was all fine and dandy and growing right on track she asked us if we had found out the sex of the baby at our 12 week scan, I said "no" because obviously I never knew you could tell, I had heard a few times of people finding out at 12 weeks if they asked but not getting offered by the sonographer. She then said to us "would you like to know because I can have a look for you if you like", I looked at gardener guy and he had a grin on his face like "oh wow" and I told her we really wanted to know. She got a different scanner that was more sensitive and had a nosey, she then told us "BOY"! She was pretty certain and showed us what she was looking at and sure enough as clear as day there it was in between his legs, was very funny. She said of course you will get told again at the 20 week scan but she was very sure it is a boy!
Now at first I said to Gardener guy, we are not to tell anyone, but how long did that last......20 or so seconds. Even though the gender predictions can never be certain at any scan I just had to tell people, how do you keep that from people! it's so exciting. And I really don't think at the 20 week scan we are going to be told, "oh sorry its actually a girl", Just what I think. So I rang my parents and the most exciting thing for me was telling my dad, he has always wanted a boy, he is a fisherman and always tried to hassle me to go fishing with him when I was little and I did a few times but I'm not a boy am I, I really just wanted to go home and bake some cakes with mum. So I was really excited to tell him. I told mum and then told her not to tell dad, when dad got home he rang me and I told him I had some exciting news, when I told him we got told the sex of the baby he was convinced it was a girl as all his family members had girls for their first babies, I said "no, its a boy"! well he was just so over the moon and the delight in his voice was fantastic. I felt really happy, I knew a a grandson was what dad really wanted and I knew that secretly a son is what gardener guy wanted so to give that to both of them was very nice. I know I'm not meant to say this but I kind of wanted a girl for my first, I wanted to buy all the dresses and girly stuff but really after being told it was a boy and giving such delight to dad and my husband I really couldn't care less what the sex is! I have looked after lots of boys and currently am caring for boys so I am very used to boys and I think boys are really funny and as much as dresses and all things pink are exciting to buy, there are some pretty trendy boys stuff out there too!
So there you go, a really amazing day yesterday, I just felt so much better after that scan and now I'm relaxed, I am not stressing over silly things, I am having a son and bring it on!
Another wee update on all things pregnancy, I received a breast pump I brought in the mail today, it is an Avent on the go manual breast pump, it comes with all the bottles and ice packs and all the other strange bits and bobs and all discretely packed away in a black shoulder bag. No one would know what you were walking around with until you opened it up and you turned into a milking cow, I find it so funny, you put the suction piece over your boob and pump the lever and just like that out comes the babies lunch! I've gone from buying sexy bras for my boobs to buying a bloody contraption that looks like it belongs on a cows udder.
my belly is looking more and more round every damn day, again I've gone from buying clothes to make me look sexy to buying practical loose fitting clothes that will last me right up until I'm the size of yes you guessed it a cow! Hot and sexy - No, Stretchy and comfortable - yes.
My internet searches have also changed slightly, I've gone from searching for fun clothes to buy, fun places to go out for dinner at and generally all things fun to searching for vaginal spotting and breast changes.
hmmmm..... so it seems gone are the 20's, party's, fancy clothes, late nights, random men, too much booze, waking up in the morning on the floor fully clothed with a kebab hanging out of my mouth. Welcome to the 30's, that's all nights in front of the telly, slippers and dressing gown, early nights, random husband, zero booze and waking up in the morning nice and tucked up in bed with wholly socks and a nice fresh glass of water on the nightstand. But hey, guess we have to grow up one day, or in my case pretend really really hard to be grown up.
Although it seems my priority's have somewhat shifted, I'm still up for a few of those bring home a kebab and a big mac and a bag full of random stolen goods from random don't know where we were bars, after all we always need extra cutlery and a few glasses here and there and eating your body weight in burgers is really really fun especially if you can manage to keep it all down and not bring up the remains in the morning. I can still be 20 something, But honestly for now I'm quite happy to be 30 and thinking about nappies, breast pumps and all those grown up things, after all I am going to welcoming my son into the world soon and lets be honest no one wants to see their mum waltzing in after hours with a skirt up her ass and her lipstick smudged across her face while carrying an empty wine bottle and singing "I am woman, hear me roar", so for my sons sake Ill behave 30 something and be very sensible but at heart I'm still a silly 20 something, but for now me and gardener guy will keep that too ourselves and behave as sensible parents should.
We are back on track. After my small meltdown due to more bleeding all is fine again. Yet again! I'm really getting fed up of all these dramas and I just want a stress free pregnancy, but I guess that's not really possible, we all worry don't we, no matter how small the issue. Its just hard to imagine losing this baby, so guess what, I'm not going too and this baby is here to stay.
We went to the hospital yesterday to the maternity assessment unit and saw a really lovely doctor. She asked me lots and lots of questions, mostly about the bleeding and my level of activity prior to the bleeding. Then she got me up on the bed and would you bloody believe it out came the damn speculum again, I am not a fan of this device, so they cranked me open and took a swab of the area, also she left me open wide and she had a good nosey in there and the good news was she couldn't see any blood at all right up there, not a bit, so the brown blood is really old blood. She then took out the speculum and did an internal exam with her fingers, or should I say practically her whole arm! anyway she said everything felt perfect. Once all this was done I sat back down and she completely reassured me that everything is fine and there are a million reasons for a small bleed, there is so much stretching and moving going on so its normal for a bit of irritation on the cervix etc to cause some spotting.
I wasn't allowed another scan yesterday as the doctor would get in trouble with the scan department for doing an un-necessary scan so close to when I just had my last one. So we went down to the scan department and got one booked in for this coming Wednesday. The doctor said "lets just let you have another look at the baby for that extra reassurance", but as far as she is concerned we are all good and on track.
And funnily enough after she did her examinations I haven't had anymore spotting. Perhaps she pulled the last of it out. So I'm blood free and feeling good again.
Another thing that was picked up was that I have a negative blood type, which meant that I needed an injection in my bum. lovely. This is because if our baby has a positive blood type, my negative blood type might attack the baby's blood, or something along those lines, was rather confusing, but that's the way me and gardener guy took it. We don't know gardener guys blood type and of course we don't know the baby's blood type so I have to have this shot, this will last me for 6 weeks then I will need another one and then I think another few during my pregnancy. So more dignity gone, bum stuck out and shot in. An hour later and we left the hospital all sorted!
So Wednesday will be nice to see bubba again, because of all this bleeding we have had 2 extra scans so its quite nice to get another chance to see the baby, I just want to lie there all day watching it, its so cool. And the following week we have our midwife appointment and she will use a doppler so we can hear the heartbeat.
Sorry for all the moaning and groaning, will leave you all in peace now till we see the baby again on Wednesday. Good luck for any upcoming tests and results to anyone who is having those.
So since the amazing scan on Tuesday afternoon there has been a bit of unwanted drama.
Obviously the scan went great on Tuesday and there was nothing at all wrong, then I woke up on Wednesday morning and was spotting again. Am not too worried as its just brown spotting again like it was with the 7 week bleed but still it was something I really didn't want to see. I straight away rang my midwife who assured me that it didn't sound like anything to worry about so I carried on as normal. But upon waking up this morning I just couldn't be bothered worrying anymore, the spotting is still there and I just want my mind put at ease.
So I got in touch with my midwife this morning and she said she will get the hospital to see me. So I have an appointment at 1pm today. I will get to hear the heartbeat and just get that reassurance I need. I'm pretty sure it will be ok, for goodness sake we only saw the baby on Tuesday happily wriggling round! It seems like my pregnancy is doomed to be stressful! as if the IVF wasn't enough. The worry sucks, I just want to relax, and I think after today I will. I will relax and realise that perhaps this bleeding is just part of my pregnancy and will have to deal with it and relax.
Will let you know how I get on, and I really really hope this will be the last worry for us!
So we have just got home from our 12 week scan, and my goodness it was very very amazing! Me and gardener guy were so amazed by the clarity of the scan and what we could see, it was very cool.
Ill first explain the above two pictures, these are my favourite two. The top one is clearly a picture of it's whole body, you can clearly see its head, body and legs, its arms are tucked behind its back, like it is lying on its arms.You can also clearly see its nose and mouth.
The second picture I really liked as thought it was very clear of its little arms and hands. On the left hand side you can clearly see its bend arm and its hand and on the right side picture the circle thing is its head and underneath its head is its hand, so it was resting its head on its hand.
We were given a big print out picture of a whole body shot and a disk with 20 other pictures of lots of different body parts.
When I was told to lie down on the bed I just knew then that I had nothing to worry about it all felt like it was fine, and straight away there was our little baby, it was up on a big screen on the wall so we both got a good view. I could feel the amazement radiating off gardener guy as we saw everything.
To begin with the baby was asleep! how cute is that, typical mid day napper, takes after me. So it wasn't moving, I said to the nurse that lots of woman had said their baby was moving lots and why wasn't ours, but after she pushed around on my belly a bit more it suddenly woke up! that was really cool! it started wriggling around and turning onto its side and then we saw it put its hand up to its face, and I tell ya it was just all so clear! one thing it kept doing which the nurse commented on was putting its face down so its chin was touching its chest and then stretching its legs right out, the nurse said it was funny as it was trying to curl its face up into its chest. Another pretty amazing sight was seeing its heart beating away in its chest, its was like you could see right through its chest and see the little pulsing heart.
So as you can tell all in all we were left amazed and happy. And yes it does make it more real, well some what, I still cant believe that baby on the screen is growing inside of me, I literally never thought I would ever see this day, I was convinced it would never come ever. I think anyone who is having IVF should try to believe that it will work, I cant thank IVF enough for what I saw today, If we hadn't done IVF I know for sure I wouldn't be where I am now, and who knows if I ever would have been in the future. As much as I cursed the whole damn thing and hated it and at times wanted to lie in bed and never get up again I'm so damn glad I kept going.
Now we just look forward to our next midwife appointment in 2 weeks time and we will get the results from the scan as to weather the baby is at high or low risk of being down syndrome, not that it matters but that's what the scan and blood results will tell us. Our next scan will be in 8 weeks time and then we can find out the sex, lets just hope the baby co-operates and isn't napping away with its legs crossed, a nice big stretch at the right time would be appreciated thanks little baby or you may just be wearing white clothes for the rest of your life!
I am quite liking my little belly. I tend to catch myself looking at it a little too often, is it really there or am I just imagining it? I ask my husband, "have I always had a stomach that sticks out this much"?, his reply is thankfully "no", its got bigger! Lucky he's a clever man and knew the right answer!
So I know these picture's aren't really much but something is definitely starting to stick out, which does surprise me as so many woman have said they had no belly at all at 12 weeks, am I going to have a mega huge baby? I think when I stand side on like I am in these pictures its quite noticeable but if I was just strolling around town no one would ever know, I still am wearing my own clothes and not maternity stuff, but as woman are we can always tell in ourselves when our own body is changing and I feel mine sure is. I think it's quite nice to document the growing belly, I say that now, yet when I'm the size of a whale I may not be so keen to share my whale like body with you all. If you are around the same stage as me, how is your belly progressing?
Tomorrow afternoon is our 12 weeks scan and we are both very excited and a little worried, there is always this thought in the back of my mind that it's little heart may have stopped beating and my growing belly is just because of my new love of ice cream, but all in all I really do think its all going to be fine and it will be so cool to get a life like picture of the wee bubba.
Ill let you know tomorrow how the scan goes tomorrow and then only 1 week till I will be in my second trimester!
