We have a heartbeat!

Hi all, So after last nights terrible bleeding episode (see last post), me and gardener guy were left feeling like we had had yet another tonne of bricks thrown on our back, we were super nervous about today's scan and really just unsure as to what the hell was going on.

I had the worlds worse sleep last night and I even dreamt that I had woken up to blood everywhere, but no, when I actually did wake up and went to the toilet it appeared that the bleeding had gone. This morning when I properly got up I was greeted to brown blood (I know, sorry for graphic details), but it did seem alot lighter and there was no proper red blood so we were feeling like we might just be alright. Mind you that doesn't really take away the sheer fear we got from having to go back to that damn clinic and sit in that damn waiting room where we have spent so much time getting hard bad news and going through really difficult times, I just didn't really want to be there.


As we sat in the waiting room contemplating weather we were going to lose this miracle before it even all began, gardener guy told me he was shaking, he was so scared and I kept heavy breathing like some kind of heart attack patient. Our doctor finally came and got us and in we went. I explained the blood to him, he didn't seem to think it sounded to bad and he set up the scan machine and I got ready and as soon as the image came up on the screen, the doctor quickly said "well I can see a heart beat already, its ok"! oh my god!!! He then looked around and told us there was nothing wrong at all, the heart beat was strong and we got to see it, which was really cool, was like a little flicker, kind of like a little white mark pulsing on and off. He measured the baby (as you can see from the photo, the baby is in between the two yellow crosses), and he was all happy with the measurements, the baby is measuring 6 weeks 6 days, and I am 7 weeks, so pretty much bang on. As for the explanation of the blood, he was not concerned at all and its probably just old blood flushing itself out and it seems to be getting lighter and lighter now. Our doctor also reassured me its perfectly normal that I still am not feeling any nausea and he told us to relax, as from what he is seeing on the scan there is a 90% chance that this baby isn't going anywhere!!! Yah for that.

I think I really have a new appreciation for people that go through a miscarriage, especially fertility patients, I got a small glimpse into how terrible it feels to be so so happy and then feel like its all getting taken away in an instance and it was not nice. I used to think to myself, well at least those people that have had a miscarriage have been pregnant, at least they have had the joy of having that, I now know that was a very wrong way of thinking, having something then having it taken away from you is just as bad as not having it at all.


Once again me and gardener guy are more thankful than ever, our little baby is hanging on in there and that's beyond amazing. Let's hope that is the last scare, I'm not sure I can take much more, I really will end up being a heart attack patient if we have anything else go wrong. For now we are surely thanking our lucky stars!