We are smiling

We are smiling today, and not just because we feel expected to, because we actually have something going in our favor for once. The thought of a positive pregnancy test is feeling that one step closer for me.

So I was waiting for the 8am call this morning and I was so nervous, The verdict is that we have two 8cell embryos and two 7cell embryos. So we have enough to carry on till blastocyst stage and do the transfer on Sunday. The scientist said there is a good chance the two 8cell embryos will progress to be blastocysts and he also said there is every chance the two 7cell embryo's will go to blastocysts too. They are only one cell behind so they are a wee bit slower but there is still alot of hope for them too. As for the 5th embryo, well that one really slowed down last night and only split by one cell, so it's pretty much out of the game (loser! didn't want him anyhow, yes he probably was a boy that just got lazy), anyhow the 5th embryo is still being kept an eye on to see what it decides to do. He is still alive but just being hopeless so to speak.


So now we just need to get those four through till Sunday! unfortunately there is always the chance that none of them will make it to the blastocyst stage, meaning we end up with nothing! but this is a risk that has been calculated and from what we have so far the scientist believes we will be ok. Once we get to Sunday transfer day we need to still hope I don't have OHSS and can have the transfer, but as every day goes by I am starting to think its less and less likely I have it. I feel a wee bit less sore today, so I think by Sunday I might even be feeling back to normal.

Tomorrow the scientist will ring me with my transfer time for Sunday. He will not look at the embryos tomorrow and will just let them be. That will be nice for them, they get a whole day without an audience. And come Sunday the strongest looking one will be implanted into my uterus. For new readers and new IVF patients, this is a fairly straight forward procedure where a catheter with the embryo inside it is inserted into my uterus, an abdominal ultrasound is used to ensure correct placement and just like that our baby is in. From there it needs to implant into my uterine wall. The pain for all this is very minimal, more uncomfortable. I will let you know in more detail on Sunday how it all goes.


On Monday I will get another call from the lab to tell me weather the remaining embryos are strong enough to be frozen. With our last cycle we did not have any frozen and I was really really upset about this, It made me really stressed out that our only hope was the embryo inside me. I will not get as upset this time if there are none to freeze as I will just be so grateful to have one inside me at the blastocyst stage, and having frozens is a bit of a luxury really not a given, and the sooner I realize that the better. If the remaining embryos can be frozen, me and gardener guy will be absolutely ecstatic, this will mean we have more chances, and a frozen embryo transfer is so much easier and cheaper than another whole fresh cycle, frozen transfer here in New Zealand is a bargain at $1500, as opposed to $10,000 for a fresh cycle, not to mention that I cant even imagine going through all those drugs and emotional ups and downs all over again. So lets not even go there yet.


I also have sorted to have an acupuncture appointment straight after transfer, to help with implantation. So that will be good, and then that will be the end of needles for me! yah, no more poking and prodding! 

My husband has been letting his beard grow, which I must say I hate! it is all prickly and looks like a hedgehog has decided to take up residency on his face, anyhow my husband now believes if he shaves his beard our luck will end, he told me he will not shave it now till we get our results, oh great!! Why did his good luck charm have to be a prickly beard, oh well better than a dirty old pair of undies or something like that.

This afternoon I was very treated, my cousin brought round some savouries and cake and one of my lovely friends brought me some homemade soup, some bread rolls and some biscuits. Isn't that just lovely. I feel so full of happiness today, I know this was only a small step having the embryos carry on till Sunday but for those of you that know what this IVF journey is like, this is really huge for us. I know what was given to me is only food, but it means far more than that to me, having someone care enough to take time to make soup and think of me and my husband when we are going through something tough and when I am not 100%, well that just makes me feel really good.

Till Sunday we will just have to stay positive and have faith that our embryos will stay strong. Having a reason to smile is the best feeling ever, having people to share that smile with is even better and as far as blessings go, me and gardener guy came out on top when we were blessed with so many caring people in our lives.

For anyone out there who is finding it hard to smile today, try to remember:

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.