Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Babies room - Done.

As promised I have included 2 pictures of the babies room, I couldn't really decide what pictures gave the best view so these two will do. The first one shows one side of the room with the change table, play mat, bouncenette, the drawers my husband re vamped and put new handles on and my feeding chair which was a real bargain! and a very special blanket from gardener guys grandmother handing over the chair. On the wall some cute fishes that my cousin gave me. And the second picture shows the cot and bedding I brought for him, I just love love love this bedding, it cost me an arm and a leg but I think it's well worth it! There are lots of other pictures I took of the room of different things but lets not bore you to death, these give a good look at it.

This weekend In New Zealand we had a public holiday so it was a long weekend so it was a good time to get the room sorted and amazingly I only have 7 weeks 3 days till I stop work for my Christmas break (yes I am counting down the days). So it was a good time to get it sorted, We also have gardener guys parents arriving from the UK then too so I wanted to get it all sorted before they arrived, not that they are staying with us, they have their own accommodation close by but I still wanted it all sorted before they got here. It was so so much fun putting it all together and putting away all his clothes, it gave me a good look at the amount of clothes I had actually brought and stuffed away it bags in the wardrobe! alot!! To me every time I walk into his room I'm amazed that there is actually going to be someone in their in a few months, its some thing I only dreamed of just 6 months ago, and now I'm here actually putting my sons clothes away in his drawers, MY SON!! (or I should probably say our son, my husband had just a wee bit to do with getting him here). 

After gardener guy had assembled the cot and change table I pottered around in the room sorting everything else out while he cleared off outside, I wanted the finished product to be a surprise. When I was done he came in and had a look, he was so impressed with it all and he was just so so happy! he even pretended lifting an invisible baby out of the cot, so cute! he told me later on that night that he is so happy and he just cant wait to have our son in the room and that its all so amazing and the best thing ever. What a change from a few months ago! It just goes to show if you want something bad enough you just have to keep trying and finding a way, no matter what it is, and hopefully if your lucky eventually you will win and when you do all the heartache becomes worth it. We don't forget how hard it was, I certainly haven't just forgotten, its still there, the feeling of "why me" is still there and knowing that having a baby will never come easy for us is still very much present in my mind. Me and gardener guy still discuss our little frozen embryo alot, we wonder weather it is a boy or a girl, we wonder weather it will survive when we choose to implant it, we hope it will. We want lots of children, we realize we may only get 2 children, if this frozen embryo works, chances are we wont conceive naturally. We also realize that we may only even have our son, the frozen embryo may fail , and then what? But even thought we are very realistic that those 2 possibilities may be it for us we still very much try to believe that we may strike it extra lucky, we may conceive naturally, our frozen embryo may implant and survive, and we may just have 3 or more children!!!. We have discussed that birth control is not something I am ever going to go back on, why the hell would I? we figure if I conceive naturally  (no matter how soon after this baby), that it is a gift, and a free gift at that! paying to get our babies is what its come down too so a freebie would be amazing. I think some people, not everyone, take for granted that they have sex and boom the next month they are up the duff, they are lucky, they haven't had to drain their bank account, they are not carrying a baby that cost them $26,000. So as you can tell, the whole IVF thing never really leaves us. We are now happy and blessed but who knows how I'm going to feel when the time comes to set foot back in that dreaded fertility clinic again.

Ok, moving on...... Today I am 23 weeks and fat. Yes I am surely a pregnant woman. I'm not that into being so large, I mean I love feeling my baby in there but I'm a fatso. My belly is just sticking out like crazy. People who haven't seen me in a while are now starting to throw round words like "oh your blooming" and "your definitely on your way", all of which by the way are just code words for "your fat". I mean yes I've got the biggest boobs in the whole world and I haven't had a pimple for almost 6 months but I'm still fat. Really I don't care, its just frustrating sometimes with clothing and walking past a mirror when you think "god she needs to go to Jenny Craig, oh hold on that's me". I have seen a really nice little black dress online, maternity of course, so really the description 'little black dress' isn't so accurate, more 'giant black cloak' but anyhow I saw this little/big black dress online which is very sexy, it is a going out dress and is kind of a silky material so I'm going to buy this, at least when I go out ill feel like I have something decent to wear, in saying that I'm not sure where the hell I plan to be going in such an item but never the less I will have it on hand. Saves me trying to come up with some wacky outfit that comprises of layers and layers of singlets and jeans with a waist band up to my ears. Big black dress - on and out the door. Done.

My last point of interest is that I have now started feeling the baby roll, yes you heard right, the little guy is doing somersaults, in my belly there is actually a person doing roley poleys. I am starting to think he is just showing off now and thinking he is a right clever gymnast as I can feel this alot now. As apposed to a kick which feels like a definite prod, this feels like a wave in my stomach, its a really really strange feeling. Gardener guy is still to feel the baby kick properly, well the other night I told him AGAIN to put his hand on my belly and the baby did kick, I said to gardener guy "did you feel that? and he said "what, you moving", I told him, no, that wasn't me that was the baby. It wasn't one of his strongest kicks, so I think gardener guy felt a bit ripped off, its a shame though as if he had caught him doing a big kick he would have felt it more. But he will soon enough.

I'm off to have a nap (as you do at 1.30 in the arvo). Ahhhh....The life of a fatso aye.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

21 week update

This above picture is of a baby born VERY premature at 21 weeks! scary aye! This is something like what my little boy looks like at the moment! A wee bit on the skinny side! But isn't it amazing that a baby born at 21 weeks does actually have the ability to survive. The main concern would be that the lungs aren't fully developed but as you can see everything else is pretty much sorted. How sad and scary would it be if your baby was born at 21 weeks, never knowing if it was going to survive or not, that would be hard. My little boy can just stay put for now thank you very much.

So yesterday I had my midwife appointment, all went well, we got given a book to fill out with her with all my details. All went well and not too much to report there really, we have our next appointment at 25 weeks and then another one at 28 weeks, I am meeting her at the hospital for my 28 week appointment as I need to get another Anti D injection due to my negative blood type, then after that my appointments will be increasing to every fortnight. Then at 36 weeks they are every week. I spoke to her about not wanting to stay in hospital if possible and she was really great about this and said to me if the baby is feeding ok then I can leave whenever I like, she wrote this down in my notes so she remembers that I surely want to get out of there as soon as possible! We discussed what support I will have when the baby is born, family etc and also we talked about her back up midwife who I will meet further down the pregnancy as she may end up delivering the baby or taking appointments if my lead midwife is unavailable.

Unfortunately I haven't been very well over the last week. Me and gardener guy went out for dinner last Saturday and  I really did behave like a big fat pig, no exxageration, I probably needed to be locked in a sty with the rest of the pigs. I had bread and dips for entree, but I tell you, there was practically a whole loaf of assorted breads and I ate it all. I also ate one of gardener guys chicken tenderloins. I then had a very heavy stogy Pork belly main with Mash, spinach, caramelized onions and gravy, for dessert I had a very heavy Sticky date pudding with caramel sauce. So this all sounds great right? and believe me it was, but then when I got home I pretty much went to bed straight away and I guess my little man didn't really appreciate all that heavy food. He was wriggling and kicking and shooting around in there like crazy! on top of this I developed these horrible pains in my stomach, and started vomiting. This went on all night and I never managed to get to sleep until 7am, it was dreadful! I spent most of Sunday in bed trying to catch up on my sleep and most of Sunday night still feeling pretty rough.

Aside from that I am going to discuss the piles again. No they are not back, but I don't think they ever really cleared up, its hard for something to clear when every time you walk it rubs! get my drift. Anyhow it has still been pretty sore and uncomfortable and itchy and I have still been applying the cream, Its just horrible, Ive really had enough of it, I currently just changed out of my jeans into these really unattractive loose yoga looking pants as I was so itchy, I think the looser the clothing the better. If anyone has any helpful suggestions please let me know. I'm desperate.

On a lighter note gardener guy has sanded and  painted the baby's drawers and put cute little red car handles on them, they look great. He has also made a bookcase for him and this will also have the tv on top of it, so when I am feeding I can watch tv in his room. He is yet to sand and paint these but when he does I'm sure it will look great. I have ordered the bedding so I cant wait to get that and have just had most of the wall art I ordered arrive in the post today too.I think we will try and hold off a few more weeks until we go nuts and decorate his room, although gardener guy keeps asking me when he can assemble the cot etc, I keep telling him to finish the painting and wait till I get the highchair and it can all be done at once. But yes we both want to get it all done.

The little guy is wriggling around like crazy now, sometimes I feel him move and kick just continuously, its really cool. the other night when I was lying flat I put my hand on my belly and for the first time I felt the kick on my hand! It's so weird feeling the movement from inside then feeling him on my hand. I screamed out to gardener guy like some kind of rampant hiena and told him of the new happening and pushed his hand onto my stomach, but sadly for gardener guy the baby stopped moving, so he is yet to feel a movement. 

So that's whats happening in my corner of the world for now. More updates and some more news as it unfolds

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

20 Week Scan

Told you I would be back. We had our 20 week scan yesterday and I didn't really get time to sit down and go into detail about the scan, so here I am today. Firstly let me explain the above picture - well really there isn't much to explain, this was my favourite one of all the pictures we got. His teeny tiny feet, there is just something about babies feet isn't there? not so much adult feet, that's when its stops being cute and just turns into a creepy obsession. 

So all went great yesterday, all day yesterday I was so excited to go and see him again (and hoping it was a him), anyhow it was good as for the first time I had nothing to worry about really, I hadn't been bleeding, I knew he was alive (he's an active wee bugger), so I was just really looking forward to it.

We got a really lovely sonographer and straight away she asked if we wanted to know the sex. I said 'yes', and we never gave anything away by saying we had been give a fairly strong prediction at the 13 week scan. Anyhow she saw right away that it was indeed a boy! Thank god!!! I have so many boys clothes that I am so in love with and to be honest I just am seeing myself with my little boy, so it was good to hear that news. She did all the measuring and checking of all the parts and organs and got all the information she needed to give him a clear bill of health. He was just perfect. He was measuring normal for 20 weeks, not too big, not too small and the placenta wasn't low lying either so we have no issues at all.

A few cute things to mention was that she said to us "hes so so active", he was barely still the whole time we were there and we were in there for about 30minutes. He stopped briefly once and turned away from us for about 1 - 2 minutes and then he was off again, wriggling around all over the show. No wonder I'm feeling him so much lately. She spotted his penis a few times so she was without a doubt sure he was a boy, and funnily enough she said that he was holding onto it!!! Oh my god son! so while he was fiddling round with his diddle the sonographer kept looking around at everything. Towards the end he took his hand away from down stairs and he put both his hands over his ears, too cute! I said to the sonographer that perhaps he was fed up with hearing us talk about him. But the most amazing thing we saw that blew me and gardener guy away was when he stopped briefly and poked his tongue in and out, it was really clear and you could see his little tongue go in and out of his mouth, he then opened his mouth up wide and took a drink! Even the sonographer was in awe of this and she said how cool it was to see something like this. Very lucky!

And that was it, It was all over, I could have easily laid there all day watching him, its so amazing and so weird that this little person we are watching on screen is in my belly. But of course we had to leave him alone and give him some privacy to get back to playing with his willy so off we left with our photos and a big smile.

Today as I am not working I just had to go out and get some more clothes, I like to be sorted and make sure he has all he needs, and then any gifts of clothing I get for him will just be a really nice bonus. That way he is well equipped whatever the weather, whatever I feel like dressing him in, he has. We still have 3 expensive items to purchase, his cot bedding, I have picked out a cool set from the Baby Kas range so I will order that in the next few weeks. I need to get a monitor, which I think I want the Angel care one that comes with the sensor pad if the baby stops breathing. And lastly a highchair, I am going to go for the 'little kiwi wooden highchair', I have researched a few different ones and I think this one will suit me the best. I have also picked out some wall art for his room so am all sorted for decorating his room. I so cant wait to decorate his room and put together all his cot etc and put away all his stuff, it will be the funnest day ever!.

I'm not going to moan about any pregnancy nasties in this post, as this is all about our son and how so so so excited we are to get him into this world! I just cannot wait! everytime I think about giving birth or read anything about it, it freaks me out so much, I keep thinking I wont be able to cope, how can I do that? but last night me and gardener guy were chatting about how exciting it actually will be when I go into labour, yes it will be scary and unknown and we wont really know what the heck is happening but it all means he is not very far away, and how exciting is that! That will have to be my mind when I'm freaking out. That he is coming, And that the long wait and the long winding hard road is finally coming to an end.