Thursday, September 1, 2011

Beyonce VS Me

So Beyonce is up the duff aye! And way to go with the announcement, singing a tune and then opening up your jacket to reveal your belly and giving it a proud rub. Pfffff........ Just when I thought I was the most famous pregnant woman she had to go and upstage me (for those of you who cant detect my sarcasm - well it is there, and probably will be throughout this post and clearly I am not the most famous pregnant woman), well I was till Beyonce took over the show. All belly rubbing and fabulous singing and proud husband high fiveing his mates. Jay Z or what ever the hell he is called. Sit down Beyone, put down the mic because you have got some stiff competition. ME.

You know I don't really care that she is pregnant, its lovely and all that, but if I had been trying to still conceive and I had seen that performance I would not have been happy. So for all you still infertile woman out there, this is a show down between me and her. grrrrrrr...........

So what has she got that I don't? a fancy jacket to hide that belly, yeah sure, but really that's it, isn't it? ok so she may have a tad bit more money to buy some extravagant stuff for the wee tot but that's it really, she has a giant toosh that is only going to get bigger and to be honest my ass isn't looking too damn bad so far! so there! of course she is due the same month as me - February, so Ill have to source some information on her due date and make sure she is not going to re up stage me by giving birth on the same day as me, oh no that is not happening thank you very much, I am going to be first, and then because my announcement was so amazing no one will even care when her baby is born, I might even announce my baby's birth by hiding him under MY fancy coat and do a sing song then open my coat to reveal him in all his glory to the world and he will do some kind of really cute trick that will leave everyone speechless. 

One can only wonder with fear what kind of ridiculous name they will give their child, I am thinking something like Jay - once, Bey - Z, or the classic name that I think they may pick Tyreek. Horrid. One can wonder in fear also what their child may look like, and this isn't me being mean here but I have read online that alot of the general public are scared this poor child will come out looking like a monkey, an actual monkey. Now I never said this, but apparently people tend to think Jay - Z isn't the most dashing, handsome man to walk the planet, In fact he himself has been referred to as a monkey, so as you can see this is where the concern about this baby being a monkey comes from. Of course we all hope the baby takes after mumma Beyonce and looks beautiful but it's chance's aren't that good, Tyreek could be one scary baby.

Anyhow, Beyonce aside, lets get back to reality. I had my midwife appointment on Tuesday and that all went fine, my blood pressure is fine, baby's heartbeat was fine and all was you guessed it fine. We got given the form to book my 20 week scan and have another appointment with the midwife at 21 weeks. I am getting pretty nasty heartburn at night, a couple of nights ago I was feeling rough, I had a terrible headache and heartburn and just couldn't get comfy on the couch, I had to turn off all the lights and prop myself up and in the end I just gave up and went to bed. My belly is getting pretty out there now, I cant hide it (not that I want too), It is looking pretty round and cool. I will get gardener guy to take some nice pictures over the weekend so if I can get a decent one ill put it up for you too see. 

As I depart I must say I am of course just being silly in this post about Beyonce. But seriously who says "I want you all to feel the love that is growing inside of me", well not me, that's for sure. That over the top statement is enough for anyone to want to back me instead of Beyonce in the Beyonce VS Me war right?

And if Beyonce should happen to stumble across my blog, all I can say is "watch out girlfriend, my baby bump is going to bump your bump right out of town and I have some fierce infertile lady's watching my back, so take your fancy jacket and do those buttons back up lady, this town ain't big enough for both of our bumps"!


  1. LOL - you crack me up! Love this! I would vote for you, by the way...

    And fantastic that your midwife appointment went so well! Sucks about the heartburn... Have you heard the old wives tale that says the more heartburn you have, the more hair your baby will have at birth?

  2. Haha, this is awesome. As an infertile about to go through IVF for the first time, I kind of wanted to punch Beyonce in the face when she put her bump out there like that. Kind of like, "In yo face!" I turned the TV off after that, lol. In the war of you vs. Beyonce, girl you are the winner. No doubts.

  3. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous reminded me of when "Pink" got pregnant last year...I wanted to barf all over her.
    Glad all is well with the little man in your belly!!

  4. are silly today:) Yeah.. whatever Beyonce! hehehe
    can't wait to see picture:)

  5. I know I wanted to slap her as well and the media when they said she quoted 'I wanted to have a baby by the time I was 30' and bam she got her wish...

    Well I bloody wished that too and it took me just a little longer then a wish....just over 3.5 years and I will be 33 when baby arrives