So everyone, I am going to write a more informative blog now that I have calmed down somewhat. For those of you who are confused, this is my second post today after getting my positive result, see last post. Me and gardener guy are sitting down relaxing and trying to let it all sink in, so here goes....
Today was a tough day, we were both stressed to the gills and to make it worse the phone call from the clinic was very very late. The phone call normally comes at around 1pm and there we were practically climbing the walls at 3.15ish. Gardener guy was starting to act strange, he couldn't take the stress, and next thing you know he has whipped out the feather duster and is dusting the house from head to toe while I am lying there convinced my period is coming on with the on and off cramps I was still getting. Anyhow once he had finished dusting the whole house and I was covered in dust i decided enough was enough and I would just call the nurse. We just had too, we were starting to think, had they forgotten about us? do they do the result calls in alphabetical order? do they do all the bad ones first and save the good ones for last?, so in a nutshell we were driving ourselves nuts.
I put through the call and my regular nurse answered, I told her I wanted to know if she had our results and she apologised as they were so so busy and she hadn't even looked at mine yet, she said "let me take a look" and I could hear her flipping through pages and then she said "oh wow, its positive"!!! she was so delighted for us and felt so pleased that she found out at the exact same time as us!Well I think I can remember saying something like "oh my god" and a few more strange noises, and from this my gardener guy gathered this was a positive, he just started hugging me and shouted "thank you" to the nurse. We got the due date (7 March) and got our beta number (100) and instructions to have another blood test on Saturday to make sure my hcg level is rising nicely, after that blood test we will get our date for our first scan to see the heartbeat.
I cant even describe how the afternoon went after that but something like this, we rang gardener guys parents in the UK who were waiting to hear, it was about 4am over there so they could barely sleep with worry but they were so delighted to get the news. I then rang my parents and I can tell you, what a great feeling it was to tell them the news, they were so so happy and mum said she has never seen dad smile so much. I rang my 3 closest friends and send out texts and a facebook message. I have been flooded with so many lovely messages and it just makes me feel even more happy, if that's possible.
Now that everything has calmed down, me and gardener guy are just happy. That is it, happy and content and exactly where we want to be in life, this will be a day to remember, I will never forget this for as long as I live.
I know that things go wrong, I know there is always the possibility for a miscarriage, but I am not going to let the fear of that ruin this for me, I am not going to even worry about that, I deserve to feel happy and there will be no more worry from me.
I also know how hard this can be to read if you are still trying to conceive, I know that reading someones good news is nice and gives you hope but also makes you sad. I have thought this many times myself, I have read many ladies blogs and thought "wow they are so lucky and they deserve it" but on the other hand I did feel like "why isn't it me", sometimes I thought it will never happen for me, even though I see all these great success stories it just isn't going to happen for me, I really really did, so it's really hard for me to grasp that this is even happening. I completely respect your decision should you choose to stop following my blog because it's too hard to read, and if you continue I hope I don't become too annoying and hope I can still give you a laugh with our future antics.
The support people have shown us has been amazing, everyone always seems so genuinely concerned and today everyone was so pleased for us, it just made me so delighted and over whelmed. I surely have some great friends and family and I hope to be able to repay the favour to them one day if they should be going through a tough time.
Tonight I go to bed with the biggest smile on my face and a full heart and when I lay my head down on the pillow I am sure to have the best sleep I have had in 2 and a half years dreaming about our baby.