The scientist rang us this morning. I'm not going to dick around here, Ill tell you like it is. Out of the 9 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized with gardener guys sperm. Out of the 9 eggs, 1 was abnormal. So out hit rate was basically 5 out of 8. Not to bad I suppose, we have 5 to work with, so it's 2 more than last round. I guess I should be pleased, and in a way I am ok with that number but I'm also pissed off, why couldn't something brilliant happen and 8 or the whole 9 fertilize, why is it that for the past 2 years we have nothing but bad news or ok news, where the hell is our amazing news.
Tomorrow the scientist will ring and tell us how many have split into nice 4 cell embryos, and we may get a better idea as to weather we will have a 3 day or 5 day transfer.
I just feel a bit shit today, I'm just so worried again that our numbers are going to drop even more, its so damn hard to stay optimistic. I'm grumpy and fed up and don't want to work, but I am, I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there till my transfer, and knowing my luck something terrible will happen and I will get OHSS and there will be no damn transfer.
I know this is a really bad way to be thinking and I hate myself for it, I don't want to think like this, I need to keep positive. Gardener guy just rang me from work and made me feel a little better, saying its still ok, we just need to hope we don't lose anymore of those 5, things may turn around and we may be left with 5 amazing strong embryos.
It's funny how as soon as a part of you is in someone else's hands you become very protective, last night when we are lying in bed my husband said to me " i want to go into the lab and see what is going on" he jokingly said " Ill ring the doctor on call and ask him to open up the lab for me", I said "oh yes, take a mattress with you and you can sleep in there overnight to keep an eye on our babies, we don't want them getting confused and thinking the lab guy is their father", this ridiculous conversation carried on to gardener guy saying that he wants to talk to them so they will grow better. Oh, how we come up with the best ideas when lying in bed.
On the OHSS subject, I have no idea at this point if I have it. All I am feeling is a bit achy, this is probably from the egg retrieval, I don't have any cramps, its more like I have done too many sit ups and feel a bit stiff and aching. I have stopped bleeding, which is alot quicker than last cycle. I will let you know if I start to show signs of OHSS. Did anyone else feel a bit stiff and sore on the day after retrieval?
For now I need to put on my happy face (if I can find it buried under all the sad and anxious faces) and realize we are still very much in the game, it gets hard but I want to still have all that hope alive. Any words of encouragement would really be appreciated now, also if you could let me know how many eggs you had and then how many fertilized that would be great too. Thanks to all.