Sleep anyone?

You know when someone says to everyone when your out at a bar "drink anyone" and you think to yourself 'well don't mind if I do', then you get asked all these other questions like "do you want ice with that" "tall or short glass" "extra shot in that" "little beach umbrella and some flamboyant fruit in it perhaps"?, well maybe you only get asked the last question if your at a gay resort in Spain or somewhere like that but you get my drift. Normally if your drunk enough already you will say yes to all questions. "Yes ill have a drink, ice sure, ill have it in a tall glass and then a short glass too, Ill have extra shots please and why not throw in an umbrella and a half a pineapple hanging off the side of the glass thanks". 

Well my point to all that is this is kind of how I feel about sleep at the moment, if someone asked "sleep anyone" my answer would be "hell yes, ill take ten shots of that with a fluffy pillow and a  leg supporter with a nice piece of cake on the side for later". Much like the drunks who say yes to any kind of drink I will say yes to any kind of sleep. A small 10 minute pain free nap, ill take it, a 20 hour sleep marathon, brilliant!


I am going to be 33 weeks in 3 days time and I'm super excited, I am excited about the birth, not scared yet and I just feel really positive about it. Sleep is another story.

I think for me from about 30 weeks onwards my sleeping started to go down hill. I feel sore and uncomfortable and it feels like the bump is pulling when I lay on my side, but then if I lay on my back I cant breath properly. Some nights I am ok, others I find it hard to get to sleep and then when I do I wake up sore and stiff and have to get up and have a walk around the house, perhaps have a nibble on something out of the cupboard, cook a whole chicken, well ok so I don't go to that extreme but a few chocolates always goes down a treat. Its rather hot here at this time of the year so when I try to put a pillow between my legs to ease the pain I then start to over heat, its like having a 3rd person in the bed on a hot sweaty night, and as it is my husband is like a thousand, million wattage heater who is always on full, then we have the pillow in with me and then I have my baby lying on top of me and I'm sweating like a pig and I'm still leaking like a milking cow! what a pleasant experience sleep is for me these days! waking up in a pool of sweat and milk, lovely! well not really waking up in a pool of sweat and milk as that would insinuate I had actually been to sleep in the first place, which I haven't.

So that's the update really, on another note Christmas was good, we had a nice day and a good boxing day, busy but nice. I was shattered by the end of it and my feet and legs were killing me, but after a few days rest (note - rest not sleep) I was back to normal. here is a wee pic of me with some cute wee socks I got from the baby to be's cousin. Also in picture is the baby's nan to be and father to be. 

Anyhow, bye for now and hope you all have a good New Year's and that 2012 is just brilliant and magical for everyone!

31 weeks and summer is here

 

Don't I look like an old misery guts in this picture! Smile for god sakes! Summer is upon us In New Zealand and aren't I glad to get some heat, so many people have said to me "oh you poor thing, having to be heavily pregnant in summer", when actually I think its easier, less clothes to try and struggle over the giant bump.

Things have been going really well, I have now stopped work (apart from 3 days in January), which is really weird, I wake and have nothing to do, well of course there is always things to do, especially at this time of the year, but nothing I have to do that I don't want to do!. I had another midwife appointment yesterday and really there was very little to report, I had had my bloods done the week prior to test for gestational diabetes and other various things, all those came back fine and nothing is wrong, I don't have HIV, good to know. Baby's heartbeat was nice and strong as usual, my blood pressure is normal, baby is still measuring normal so really at the moment I'm a fairly easy patient, perhaps I wont be such an easy breezy patient of hers when I'm screaming in her ear demanding pain relief and acting like a big baby myself! My next appointment is in 2 weeks and will be at the hospital again to get another anti d injection and also will be meeting her backup midwife in the next few weeks too.

As you can see from the picture I'm getting pretty big but luckily I have managed to avoid stretchmarks so far. Not a one, but I know I may be speaking too soon, they will prob all pop up right at the end. Walking too far is becoming hard, I think I have got a bit of a pregnant lady waddle going on which is pretty funny! the wee man is darting and rolling and doing all sorts of crazy movements, its insane, he just wont sit still! ADD??????.  My baby shower is starting to get all organized, my amazing friend who is a whizz at baking and organising things is hosting it, we have decided on the date and she is making up some invites, I have got every ones address's and am starting to buy some wine for the occasion and getting together a list of some food I need to buy, I am looking forward to it but at the same time I don't want too much of a fuss. Will see how it goes! Will be sure to let you know all about it. Antenatal classes begin on the 7th January, I am not really looking forward to these, I hate being in a class type setting, again Ill see how it goes, Ill probably really enjoy it, I guess its just the unknown, I always tend to set things up to be bad in my head and then they end up being fun, although watching a women pushing a baby out of her fanny and then realising that's going to be me soon isn't exactly my idea of fun, mind you I do seem find creepy stuff like that rather fascinating at the moment.

On a closing note, I am letting you know in advance that I have decided to end my blog once my wee guy is born, I feel it's right to end my blog on a really happy, high note. My last post will be about the birth of our baby and my feelings on being a new mum after having been through fertility treatments. I thought I can always pick up and start a new blog when we start a frozen embryo treatment cycle, as that will be a new chapter for baby number 2. I feel this blog is all about our quest for baby number 1 and getting baby number 1 finally in our arms. I want to print out my blog and give this to my son to read at some point, I know he will probably cringe at most of it and wish he never laid eyes on it, and yell at me and say "mum, your so disgusting", but it's his journey into the world, and it will be there to read if he chooses too. 

So thank you so much for all who have followed my blog, we have 9 or so more weeks of my ranting to go and then the grand finale!!! which I believe will be the best post yet, watch this space, not long now!

30 Weeks tomorrow!

Hi there, Sorry for a lack in posting lately, have been slack! I have been keeping really well lately so don't have any pregnancy woes to moan about!

Tomorrow I will reach the 30 week mark! holy crap, only 10 weeks to go! Things have started to become mighty real over the last week, I cant believe in 10 weeks I will be a mumma! A mum, did you hear me??? So exciting. I have been thinking about the birth more lately, I am still feeling fairly calm about it and just want it to be a calm experience, as calm as it can be anyhow. Me and gardener guy talk about our baby and being parents more and more now, we were talking about how cool next Christmas will be as he will be 10 months old, I guess mostly we just cant believe its actually happening. We talk about the IVF sometimes and how we cant believe we came out on the other side when we really didn't think we would. A big reminder of the IVF was that last week we got a bill for our embryo storage, $240 for a yearly storage, and a letter asking us if we actually wanted to keep it, or destroy it, or discuss donating it, are you kidding me, that's our baby, we promptly signed the letter stating we wanted to keep it stored and paid the bill. Phew! done, imagine they got rid of it by mistake...... doesn't bare thinking about!

I feel like I have so much coming up over the next month or so, We have gardener guy's parents arriving from the UK in 3 days time and we have our antenatal classes starting in January. I have my baby shower in January and a big family dinner in January, gardener guys birthday in January,  we have our 3yr wedding anniversary one week before the baby is born. So much going on, I cant wait!! the weather here in New Zealand is getting hotter and hotter so that's something to be excited about in itself. 

I have only 3 days left of work left which is amazing! I am doing 3 days in January but officially I finish up for good in 3 days. It's a weird feeling, in the past when I have finished up at a job its because I had a new one to go too, a new family to start caring for but this time I don't, I am stopping to have a break and then care for my own baby, its very strange. I am actually going to be a mum and not have a job. I couldn't be happier, its just odd. 

Baby updates are as follows - at last midwife appointment last week he was measuring 31cms and he is now head down, good boy. All he needs to do now is get fatter and fatter and I will get fatter and fatter over the next few weeks at a very rapid rate. I seem to have got giant all of a sudden anyhow. Take a look at that giant belly pic taken in my bedroom. Things are getting damn hard to do now, bending down, am getting terribly sore feet when I walk too far, am feeling tired more and more and the baby is doing some really hard kicks lately. Having some very sharp stabs in my bladder when he is jumping on it. 


That is all for now, I will try and do another update soon, probably not till after Christmas. Merry Christmas to all and I truly pray and hope that everyone gets their ultimate dream this Christmas, I know how hard and horrific it is to spend a Christmas minus what you always wanted, minus a baby, its tough, so I really really hope dreams really do come true this Christmas just as ours have.

7 Months!

Well almost...... in 2 days I will be 7 months pregnant so figured I'd sit down now and get you up to date as Ive been so slack. These 2 pictures are taken of me lounging round like a fat roley poley in the garden today. It was such a beautiful warm day, Ive started wearing summer clothes but unfortunately not looking quite up to par in them but anyhow not long to go now till this giant belly will be gone and replaced with a real life baby! only 12 weeks to go! or less if he decides to come earlier! woo hoo!

Since my last post I have had another midwife visit at 27 weeks and all was on track. I had this visit at the hospital because I had to get my Anti D injection. My blood pressure is fine, baby is fine, measuring well and apparently has good co-ordination as he was following around the heart monitor with his foot. I am now having visits every two weeks. 

I am getting bigger by the second, some days I hate it, others I find it completely fine to deal with, just depends on my mood, which is also very up and down. 

Baby is moving loads still, and watching my tummy move is one of my favourite things! He is definitely in a routine of when hes up and when hes asleep, as for my sleeping its not too bad, I get up alot to pee and am not overly comfortable but not too badly yet. 

I finish work in two and a half weeks! I'm so excited. I know this seems really soon and like I will have loads of time off, which I will, but  I had initially planned to take off 2 weeks over Xmas, then return to work for a few weeks in January. But so it happens my families I care for don't require me for January, thus leaving me with no work. Whats a girl to do. Well nothing! amen to that! I look after 2 boys and both sets of parents want to get them settled into their new care in the new year so they didn't see the point in coming back to me after Xmas. Initially I was panicking about money, but now that me and gardener guy have sorted things out and worked out a few things financially, we don't really care, and I just cant believe I'm almost done working!!!! After 10 or so years of caring for other peoples children I am going to be finishing to care for my own, seriously that is the most awesome feeling ever!. Me and gardener guy had initially also decided that I would get work again when the baby was about 4months old, that I would work 3 days a week, but now upon reassessing everything we have just decided not to put a time on it and just see how we go. If our little boy is sleeping well and through the night and I'm feeling ready to care for another child I will start looking for another contract, but if he is a bad sleeper and I am just not feeling up to it, well then I simply wont go back to work until I am. No stress. Gardener guy has said he would rather it was me getting up to the baby in the middle of the night and not working then us both working and both sharing the night feedings. 

I have made some decisions on a few baby related issues, I will breastfeed, but I will introduce the bottle quite early on, I want to express my milk and give gardener guy the opportunity to feed his son, I want to have a bit of freedom and not be a milking machine and that is it. The baby will be in his own room from day 1, not in ours, at some point I want to introduce the dream feed - being wake him up before we go to bed and feed him, thus giving me a bigger stretch at night. I will be starting back at the playgroups etc that I go to now fairly early on, I want to get out of the house and keep up with these activities. I will not listen to other peoples advice, I know this sounds a bit mental and stupid, but I have been told by many people that you get hurled so much advice from so many people that it can just make you go crazy! I will do what I think is right and what I feel is working well for our family. I respect that what worked for one mother may not work for another. But if I do need help I will ask for it. I will appreciate peoples guidance, but there's a fine line between saying "oh we tried it this way" and "you should do this, we did". I guess as a new mother there is lots of smiling and nodding of the head and then you just go away and pick and choose what you listen too. One thing I will be happy for help on though is breastfeeding, Ive clearly never done that and from what Ive heard its not often as easy as just pushing your baby to your tit and there you go, your meals on wheels. It can involve alot more.

I have been thinking about the birth a wee bit, We have yet to really discuss this with the midwife but I have a few ideas of my own. Nothing too demanding really, my main thing which I have told the midwife is that I don't want to stay in hospital. If me and baby are well and he is feeding well we are going to leave. I don't want to lie around in hospital when I could be lying around in my own bed. I have plenty of support, we have gardener guys parents who are in town for the babies birth and I have a great friend who is a plunket nurse living close by who I will call upon if I need her, and lots of other people to help. I am not staying in hospital! As far as a birth plan, I'm open to anything, if my midwife suggests I get in the bath to help with pain, ill try, If I like it I am even fine with giving birth in the water. I am wanting pain medication, I hope that gas will be enough, I don't really want an epidural, but again if its recommended and I have been going for too long then I will do it if its best, but my preference is not too. Will see how I go. That's it really. Ive been backwards and forwards on who gets to hold him first, I had though that I wanted him handed straight to gardener guy for the first hold, but now I'm not sure, Ive read that first contact with me promotes good feeding, so I don't really know now, perhaps to me first for a quick cuddle, then to gardener guy. I just have no idea how I will feel, people have told me that I just wont believe how over whelmed and full of love I will feel when I see him, so its all a bit hard to comprehend, yes I imagine Ill be so In love with him and happy, but from what people keep saying, unless you have experienced it there is no way you can ever comprehend how amazing it will be, so needless to say I'm looking forward to that!


Ok, enough of me going on, this was meant to be a short post, this should keep you going for awhile, will let you all know how the next midwife visit goes and any new news.

Milk Anyone?

So you know you have officially lost the rights to your body when you wake up one morning to find you have leaked milk all over your top and through onto the sheets. One can only imagine how much milk I will have when the little fella is here, Ill be waking up swimming in the stuff.

This leads me to my first new development since my last post - breast pads. I didn't think I would really need these till he was born, and even then I was living under some romantic notion that my boobs would just tidily keep all the milk inside where it was meant to be. But oh no! After the leakage issue I went out and brought two crop top style bras, I wanted something comfortable to wear to bed that I could securely pop the breast pads into. So last night was the first night, in they went and of course I didn't leak a damn drop! I think I will just keep using these in bed as the night I decide not to put them in, it will be like Niagara falls! Ill have to recover my dead husbands body from drowning in milk.


Since my last post I also have been a bit up and down health wise, currently I feel good, touch wood. There is nothing wrong with me. But last Sunday/Monday/Tuesday I was not. Somehow I managed to pull a muscle in my side and boy did It hurt! apparently during pregnancy all your muscles are so much weaker and you are prone to all sorts of strains and pains, and what with the added weight (5.5kgs now and counting), it was obviously just too much! now this was no silly little pain in the side, oh no, this was full on. I wake up and feel like I have had a major surgery performed on me, I cannot walk, I cannot get out of bed, I cannot lie without pain, I cannot sit without pain. It was a shocker! at first I thought it may have been the baby lying in some kind of wacky side ways position, but soon realised he was far over the other side, rocking and rolling very oblivious of the pain his mother was in. Anyhow panadol every 4 hours and resting soon healed this up and I am now back to normal.


At my last midwife appointment which was last Tuesday the baby got measured, He is measuring 27cms. Apparently the baby grows a cm a week, So I was 25 weeks at that appointment so he was 2 weeks ahead! little fatso! The midwife never said he was huge or anything, just that I was doing well, baby was well and growing good. I'm not worried about his size, maybe he will come a bit early if he is cooking extra fast!

Perhaps the weirdest and something not really mentioned in pregnancy is my skin changes. It seems I have picked up a skin condition called Chloasma, basically its brownish patches that appear on your face, mostly forehead, upper cheeks and chin. This is triggered by an increase in hormones and an increase in your bodies production of melamin. I know its sounds horrific, but its not really that bad, its not like if you see me you wont recognize me, I have a few patches and its fairly light and you would never really notice it, but too me, someone who has to look at my face every day I can tell. So yes, its not really something you hear about but it is really common and tends to come on in the second trimester. It will fade away and disappear about 2 months after birth.

Someone asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas and of course there are many things I want, I don't really need any of them, but I still want them. My husband is going to get me perfume and some surprise purchase, with strict instructions for me to stay away from peeking at the credit card bill! Anyhow this got me thinking about last Xmas. Last Xmas was not fun, I was not happy. On Xmas eve we got a phone call from the fertility clinic telling us our 3rd and final IUI had failed and we would need to move onto IVF. Of course we knew this call was coming, we were waiting all day for it, hoping and praying it would be a lovely Xmas gift, but it wasn't. It was damn hard, I had to try my hardest to pick myself up, and get on with Xmas the next day, not an easy feat. Luckily we had a nice trip planned so me and my husband got away together for a week or so and basked in the lovely NZ sun. Although this trip was just what we needed at the time, it was clouded by the bad news we had had, it didn't go away, where ever we went there were happy families enjoying each others company, oblivious to the fact that we were both in alot of emotional pain. Of course the pain subsided and we carried on and planned for IVF and getting back into all the roller coaster of drugs and craziness. All this just makes me so thankful that this Xmas we are in such a better place, we are so so lucky we can enjoy Xmas day and talk about the arrival of our son with our family and really really enjoy the day and have a real smile on our face. Its pretty amazing really! I know what it feels like to be at rock bottom and to be where I am now couldn't be further from that! It almost brings me to tears writing this as I think "poor you, how did you manage that", and that's what I think when I continue to read other woman's struggling blogs, "poor you", its so sad. Every single day is shit. I really hope Xmas is brighter for everyone this year. 

Lets just hope for now I can get through the next few months without any embarrassing breast leaking incidents. No squirting across the room at someone, no leaking down my top making me look like I'm sweating profusely. Milk is best served from a carton, not an unexpected shot of it from a strangers boob. Oh well at least if times get really tough when the baby is born, my husband will still have a good supply of free milk to put on his breakfast cereal in the morning!!!! Kidding!

6 Month Mark - The penguin waddle.

So what do you do when you see a pregnant woman with a toddler in a buggy struggling to get on the bus? I know, make her life harder, ask her to get off the bus, fold down the pram,  not offer to help her, all the while she is struggling to do this while trying to make sure the toddler doesn't take off on the busy street. Then don't offer to help lift the buggy onto the bus and then, just for shits and giggles start driving off before she has even got herself and the toddler seated. Wanker right. Yes that would be right. But hey that's people for you these days, always so damn rude. And what happens when the pregnant woman calls the bus driver a wanker........ Well he asks her to get off the bus. YEAH RIGHT! I'm pregnant and I'm not going anywhere, except to the mall on your god damn bus. So that was my Tuesday morning for you.

I feel pretty excited that I have reached the 6 month mark! Kind of seems like now the time will just fly by. Soon he will be here!!! Woah! It's weird to think I only have 16 weeks of my current life and then my whole life will change! 

Since my last post the coolest thing to have happened is that I can now see bubba move! yes I can see him wriggling and kicking through my skin. Its so odd! it looks like a little bounce, and when he rolls it looks like a wave. Really its the coolest thing ever.

Over the last week I have been feeling really well! My heartburn tablets are really helping and everything else seems to be in check for now. The only thing is that I'm pretty exhausted by the afternoon. I'm still not keen on going out and painting the town red at night as by then I'm quite frankly had it. I'm finding that walking too far is resulting in very very sore feet and lower back pain. I used to be able to walk all the way to the local mall and back fine and the last few times I have done this my feet and back were just too sore by the time I got home, so from now on I think I will just get the bus one way, I do still like to walk so Ill keep trying to walk as much as possible. 

I am yet to spot any stretch marks, I keep checking but none as yet, fingers crossed! I have my next midwife appointment this coming Tuesday, I have been told by some other pregnant ladies that the midwife will measure the baby, Yah! so this will give me some idea of weather he is big, small, tiny, huge! not huge please! This is my first time at pushing a human out of my fanny! so preferably not too big of a boy would be good!

So do I resemble a waddling fat penguin yet?, you know when you get to a certain point in pregnancy where you start to take on a bit of a waddle, much like a tubby penguin who has been chowing down on one to many fish, well I don't think I waddle like that too much yet, I must say though by the time it gets to the end of the day I am kind of waddling from having a sore back and being tired and i start pulling out the sighs and making those funny elderly lady noises when I get up off the couch. I do sometimes feel like the penguin in the picture, like if I walk another step I may just tip over, I like to liken myself to a fat waddling penguin rather that a fat pig, simply for the fact that penguin's seem to have got their outfit sorted much better than pigs, weather they are fat or not, black and white is just simply far more flattering than pink!

Babies room - Done.

As promised I have included 2 pictures of the babies room, I couldn't really decide what pictures gave the best view so these two will do. The first one shows one side of the room with the change table, play mat, bouncenette, the drawers my husband re vamped and put new handles on and my feeding chair which was a real bargain! and a very special blanket from gardener guys grandmother handing over the chair. On the wall some cute fishes that my cousin gave me. And the second picture shows the cot and bedding I brought for him, I just love love love this bedding, it cost me an arm and a leg but I think it's well worth it! There are lots of other pictures I took of the room of different things but lets not bore you to death, these give a good look at it.

This weekend In New Zealand we had a public holiday so it was a long weekend so it was a good time to get the room sorted and amazingly I only have 7 weeks 3 days till I stop work for my Christmas break (yes I am counting down the days). So it was a good time to get it sorted, We also have gardener guys parents arriving from the UK then too so I wanted to get it all sorted before they arrived, not that they are staying with us, they have their own accommodation close by but I still wanted it all sorted before they got here. It was so so much fun putting it all together and putting away all his clothes, it gave me a good look at the amount of clothes I had actually brought and stuffed away it bags in the wardrobe! alot!! To me every time I walk into his room I'm amazed that there is actually going to be someone in their in a few months, its some thing I only dreamed of just 6 months ago, and now I'm here actually putting my sons clothes away in his drawers, MY SON!! (or I should probably say our son, my husband had just a wee bit to do with getting him here). 

After gardener guy had assembled the cot and change table I pottered around in the room sorting everything else out while he cleared off outside, I wanted the finished product to be a surprise. When I was done he came in and had a look, he was so impressed with it all and he was just so so happy! he even pretended lifting an invisible baby out of the cot, so cute! he told me later on that night that he is so happy and he just cant wait to have our son in the room and that its all so amazing and the best thing ever. What a change from a few months ago! It just goes to show if you want something bad enough you just have to keep trying and finding a way, no matter what it is, and hopefully if your lucky eventually you will win and when you do all the heartache becomes worth it. We don't forget how hard it was, I certainly haven't just forgotten, its still there, the feeling of "why me" is still there and knowing that having a baby will never come easy for us is still very much present in my mind. Me and gardener guy still discuss our little frozen embryo alot, we wonder weather it is a boy or a girl, we wonder weather it will survive when we choose to implant it, we hope it will. We want lots of children, we realize we may only get 2 children, if this frozen embryo works, chances are we wont conceive naturally. We also realize that we may only even have our son, the frozen embryo may fail , and then what? But even thought we are very realistic that those 2 possibilities may be it for us we still very much try to believe that we may strike it extra lucky, we may conceive naturally, our frozen embryo may implant and survive, and we may just have 3 or more children!!!. We have discussed that birth control is not something I am ever going to go back on, why the hell would I? we figure if I conceive naturally  (no matter how soon after this baby), that it is a gift, and a free gift at that! paying to get our babies is what its come down too so a freebie would be amazing. I think some people, not everyone, take for granted that they have sex and boom the next month they are up the duff, they are lucky, they haven't had to drain their bank account, they are not carrying a baby that cost them $26,000. So as you can tell, the whole IVF thing never really leaves us. We are now happy and blessed but who knows how I'm going to feel when the time comes to set foot back in that dreaded fertility clinic again.


Ok, moving on...... Today I am 23 weeks and fat. Yes I am surely a pregnant woman. I'm not that into being so large, I mean I love feeling my baby in there but I'm a fatso. My belly is just sticking out like crazy. People who haven't seen me in a while are now starting to throw round words like "oh your blooming" and "your definitely on your way", all of which by the way are just code words for "your fat". I mean yes I've got the biggest boobs in the whole world and I haven't had a pimple for almost 6 months but I'm still fat. Really I don't care, its just frustrating sometimes with clothing and walking past a mirror when you think "god she needs to go to Jenny Craig, oh hold on that's me". I have seen a really nice little black dress online, maternity of course, so really the description 'little black dress' isn't so accurate, more 'giant black cloak' but anyhow I saw this little/big black dress online which is very sexy, it is a going out dress and is kind of a silky material so I'm going to buy this, at least when I go out ill feel like I have something decent to wear, in saying that I'm not sure where the hell I plan to be going in such an item but never the less I will have it on hand. Saves me trying to come up with some wacky outfit that comprises of layers and layers of singlets and jeans with a waist band up to my ears. Big black dress - on and out the door. Done.


My last point of interest is that I have now started feeling the baby roll, yes you heard right, the little guy is doing somersaults, in my belly there is actually a person doing roley poleys. I am starting to think he is just showing off now and thinking he is a right clever gymnast as I can feel this alot now. As apposed to a kick which feels like a definite prod, this feels like a wave in my stomach, its a really really strange feeling. Gardener guy is still to feel the baby kick properly, well the other night I told him AGAIN to put his hand on my belly and the baby did kick, I said to gardener guy "did you feel that? and he said "what, you moving", I told him, no, that wasn't me that was the baby. It wasn't one of his strongest kicks, so I think gardener guy felt a bit ripped off, its a shame though as if he had caught him doing a big kick he would have felt it more. But he will soon enough.

I'm off to have a nap (as you do at 1.30 in the arvo). Ahhhh....The life of a fatso aye.

21 week update

 

This above picture is of a baby born VERY premature at 21 weeks! scary aye! This is something like what my little boy looks like at the moment! A wee bit on the skinny side! But isn't it amazing that a baby born at 21 weeks does actually have the ability to survive. The main concern would be that the lungs aren't fully developed but as you can see everything else is pretty much sorted. How sad and scary would it be if your baby was born at 21 weeks, never knowing if it was going to survive or not, that would be hard. My little boy can just stay put for now thank you very much.

So yesterday I had my midwife appointment, all went well, we got given a book to fill out with her with all my details. All went well and not too much to report there really, we have our next appointment at 25 weeks and then another one at 28 weeks, I am meeting her at the hospital for my 28 week appointment as I need to get another Anti D injection due to my negative blood type, then after that my appointments will be increasing to every fortnight. Then at 36 weeks they are every week. I spoke to her about not wanting to stay in hospital if possible and she was really great about this and said to me if the baby is feeding ok then I can leave whenever I like, she wrote this down in my notes so she remembers that I surely want to get out of there as soon as possible! We discussed what support I will have when the baby is born, family etc and also we talked about her back up midwife who I will meet further down the pregnancy as she may end up delivering the baby or taking appointments if my lead midwife is unavailable.

Unfortunately I haven't been very well over the last week. Me and gardener guy went out for dinner last Saturday and  I really did behave like a big fat pig, no exxageration, I probably needed to be locked in a sty with the rest of the pigs. I had bread and dips for entree, but I tell you, there was practically a whole loaf of assorted breads and I ate it all. I also ate one of gardener guys chicken tenderloins. I then had a very heavy stogy Pork belly main with Mash, spinach, caramelized onions and gravy, for dessert I had a very heavy Sticky date pudding with caramel sauce. So this all sounds great right? and believe me it was, but then when I got home I pretty much went to bed straight away and I guess my little man didn't really appreciate all that heavy food. He was wriggling and kicking and shooting around in there like crazy! on top of this I developed these horrible pains in my stomach, and started vomiting. This went on all night and I never managed to get to sleep until 7am, it was dreadful! I spent most of Sunday in bed trying to catch up on my sleep and most of Sunday night still feeling pretty rough.

Aside from that I am going to discuss the piles again. No they are not back, but I don't think they ever really cleared up, its hard for something to clear when every time you walk it rubs! get my drift. Anyhow it has still been pretty sore and uncomfortable and itchy and I have still been applying the cream, Its just horrible, Ive really had enough of it, I currently just changed out of my jeans into these really unattractive loose yoga looking pants as I was so itchy, I think the looser the clothing the better. If anyone has any helpful suggestions please let me know. I'm desperate.

On a lighter note gardener guy has sanded and  painted the baby's drawers and put cute little red car handles on them, they look great. He has also made a bookcase for him and this will also have the tv on top of it, so when I am feeding I can watch tv in his room. He is yet to sand and paint these but when he does I'm sure it will look great. I have ordered the bedding so I cant wait to get that and have just had most of the wall art I ordered arrive in the post today too.I think we will try and hold off a few more weeks until we go nuts and decorate his room, although gardener guy keeps asking me when he can assemble the cot etc, I keep telling him to finish the painting and wait till I get the highchair and it can all be done at once. But yes we both want to get it all done.

The little guy is wriggling around like crazy now, sometimes I feel him move and kick just continuously, its really cool. the other night when I was lying flat I put my hand on my belly and for the first time I felt the kick on my hand! It's so weird feeling the movement from inside then feeling him on my hand. I screamed out to gardener guy like some kind of rampant hiena and told him of the new happening and pushed his hand onto my stomach, but sadly for gardener guy the baby stopped moving, so he is yet to feel a movement. 

So that's whats happening in my corner of the world for now. More updates and some more news as it unfolds. 

20 Week Scan

Told you I would be back. We had our 20 week scan yesterday and I didn't really get time to sit down and go into detail about the scan, so here I am today. Firstly let me explain the above picture - well really there isn't much to explain, this was my favourite one of all the pictures we got. His teeny tiny feet, there is just something about babies feet isn't there? not so much adult feet, that's when its stops being cute and just turns into a creepy obsession. 

So all went great yesterday, all day yesterday I was so excited to go and see him again (and hoping it was a him), anyhow it was good as for the first time I had nothing to worry about really, I hadn't been bleeding, I knew he was alive (he's an active wee bugger), so I was just really looking forward to it.

We got a really lovely sonographer and straight away she asked if we wanted to know the sex. I said 'yes', and we never gave anything away by saying we had been give a fairly strong prediction at the 13 week scan. Anyhow she saw right away that it was indeed a boy! Thank god!!! I have so many boys clothes that I am so in love with and to be honest I just am seeing myself with my little boy, so it was good to hear that news. She did all the measuring and checking of all the parts and organs and got all the information she needed to give him a clear bill of health. He was just perfect. He was measuring normal for 20 weeks, not too big, not too small and the placenta wasn't low lying either so we have no issues at all.


A few cute things to mention was that she said to us "hes so so active", he was barely still the whole time we were there and we were in there for about 30minutes. He stopped briefly once and turned away from us for about 1 - 2 minutes and then he was off again, wriggling around all over the show. No wonder I'm feeling him so much lately. She spotted his penis a few times so she was without a doubt sure he was a boy, and funnily enough she said that he was holding onto it!!! Oh my god son! so while he was fiddling round with his diddle the sonographer kept looking around at everything. Towards the end he took his hand away from down stairs and he put both his hands over his ears, too cute! I said to the sonographer that perhaps he was fed up with hearing us talk about him. But the most amazing thing we saw that blew me and gardener guy away was when he stopped briefly and poked his tongue in and out, it was really clear and you could see his little tongue go in and out of his mouth, he then opened his mouth up wide and took a drink! Even the sonographer was in awe of this and she said how cool it was to see something like this. Very lucky!


And that was it, It was all over, I could have easily laid there all day watching him, its so amazing and so weird that this little person we are watching on screen is in my belly. But of course we had to leave him alone and give him some privacy to get back to playing with his willy so off we left with our photos and a big smile.

Today as I am not working I just had to go out and get some more clothes, I like to be sorted and make sure he has all he needs, and then any gifts of clothing I get for him will just be a really nice bonus. That way he is well equipped whatever the weather, whatever I feel like dressing him in, he has. We still have 3 expensive items to purchase, his cot bedding, I have picked out a cool set from the Baby Kas range so I will order that in the next few weeks. I need to get a monitor, which I think I want the Angel care one that comes with the sensor pad if the baby stops breathing. And lastly a highchair, I am going to go for the 'little kiwi wooden highchair', I have researched a few different ones and I think this one will suit me the best. I have also picked out some wall art for his room so am all sorted for decorating his room. I so cant wait to decorate his room and put together all his cot etc and put away all his stuff, it will be the funnest day ever!.

I'm not going to moan about any pregnancy nasties in this post, as this is all about our son and how so so so excited we are to get him into this world! I just cannot wait! everytime I think about giving birth or read anything about it, it freaks me out so much, I keep thinking I wont be able to cope, how can I do that? but last night me and gardener guy were chatting about how exciting it actually will be when I go into labour, yes it will be scary and unknown and we wont really know what the heck is happening but it all means he is not very far away, and how exciting is that! That will have to be my mind when I'm freaking out. That he is coming, And that the long wait and the long winding hard road is finally coming to an end. 

 

19 Week Update

I am now 19 weeks 1 day. - This post is going to be part moaning, part joy. I feel kind of bad anytime that I ever moan about anything pregnancy related. When I was so desperately trying to get pregnant I always said I would never ever complain about anything, not morning sickness, not anything, so just so you know I don't feel very good moaning about things and I still appreciate what I've been given every single day. All these pregnancy annoyances are nothing compared to all the physical and emotional pain that is involved with IVF, so I know I'm so lucky to be done with that for now. And to anyone still enduring fertility treatments, your a tough bugger that's for sure!


So, whats been happening in my part of the world lately? well I'm 1 week away from being 5 months pregnant! yah for that. Alot has been happening really, shall we start with the not so fabulous things first? that way we can end on a good note. So as I said in my last post I had piles, well the latest on that subject is, they are gone!! I went to the chemist and got some cream that looked like grout you would use to tile your bathroom floor! seriously this stuff was like thick brown grout, but really I had got to the point where I would smear just about anything on my ass, including actual grout, if I thought it would make a difference. So I smeared this stuff on the affected area for a few days and it really soothed it and now its sorted. It wasn't exactly the most pleasant thing ever, my ass had so much cream on it and was so slippery I practically slid off the seat every time I sat down.But hey, its sorted so that's good.

I have got really dry skin, really this is just on my face and mostly my forehead, again I just have to lather up my face with cream  (not the ass cream by the way), I'm not that cheap, I have face cream. My belly is getting really itchy as my skin stretches so I'm constantly itching my belly, walking around town like someone with a skin disease itching myself like a mad woman. But no stretch marks yet. I must be scratching them all away.


Ok, I'm going to complain about my body changes. I know your thinking, why the hell are you complaining? you knew pregnancy involved getting bigger. Of course I did, but I don't think that your ever really prepared for how fast things progress. One minute your strutting around in your tight jeans thinking your hot shit and the next minute your waddling around in some weird outfit that just doesn't look quite right. Ok so this is a slight exaggeration but it does gets tricky. I used to be able to get dressed really fast in the morning, everything in my wardrobe would fit and that was that. But now I go to put on a top I wore 2 weeks ago and hello, it no longer fits! Jesus! I've worked out what few pieces I really love and feel good in and there are a few pieces that are too big yet but I am looking forward to wearing later on in pregnancy. I guess I've got it sorted more now. Some days I feel great and love the belly and what I'm wearing, other days I just think, what the hell kind of outfit is this? Today I have done a good job, I'm in my black skinny maternity jeans and a stripy blue and white maternity top which is fantastic. I'm starting to find now that actual maternity wear is more comfortable and fits better than trying to just wing it with non maternity gear. 

I still have heartburn and headaches at night and some nights I feel rotten and have to get gardener guy to turn off all the lights so we sit in the dark in the lounge as the lights are too much. Other nights i feel really good and might not even lie on the couch and just sit on the couch happily. 


Now my last complaint is that my little guy seems to be sitting on my bladder, or jumping on it or something! I always need to pee. Sometimes I go and then literally 5 minutes later I need to go again. Some days are worse than others. This makes going out hard as I am always thinking, "will there be a toilet there"?. I have become quite a toilet critic over the last few weeks, I should be writing a blog about the local toilets. Waterloo Train Station toilets = 8/10, newly painted, new toilets, all sinks and hand dryers in working order. Moera Playground toilets = 1/10, filthy, smelly, 1 ply toilet paper that disintegrates in your hand, broken hand dryer, graffiti on wall. Museum hotel toilets = 100/10, Top Notch toilets, beautiful gold doors, comfy seats, beautiful long glamorous curtains, all facilities in perfect working order, Definitely my top pick for a great place to settle down for a well deserved poo after many weeks of constipation. If you feel the need to poo after being constipated, make the drive out there and sneak in and enjoy!


Moving on from that to something more pleasant. Our little man has been wriggling around like crazy lately, the movements and kicks are becoming alot stronger, I can feel him alot! Its so cool. I have a posterior placenta, which means its at the back, not at the front, so its not in the way cushioning his kicks. It doesn't matter where your placenta is but its nice that I can feel him so much without the placenta blocking it all. Gardener guy still cant feel anything, but we do try, I get him to put his hand on my belly but its still too faint for him to feel just yet. We have our 20 week scan this coming Tuesday, I'm really looking forward to this, will be great to see him again and make sure everything is in working order. And of course get confirmation that he is actually a boy! we are both starting to really hope he isn't a she, not that we don't want a girl, but we have mentally prepared ourselves for a boy and we are really happy about this. Girl for number 2 baby though please. Yesterday my nappy bag I ordered from the states arrived, and oh my god, so in love. Its so cool, perfect bag, good amount of pockets, change mat, insulated bottle holder, extra bag for soiled/wet clothes and it hangs just perfectly over my buggy handles. Not to mention it's very snazzy to look at. Just cant wait to use that and the buggy and all our baby's new stuff. So exciting. 

So there you go, the moaning and the happiness. Lastly I have one thing to add and I wasn't sure if I was going to include this in here, but I've been so honest this far I figured why not, and if you don't like hearing it stop reading. My boobs have started leaking!!!! yes you heard right. I'm not sure weather I put this into the moaning category or the happiness category, lets just put it in the weird category. I spoke to a plunket nurse friend of mine and she said its ok its normal for it to happen so soon and apparently it will probably mean ill have a really good milk supply by the time the baby arrives. So there you go. Its not like dripping down my front or anything, but a few times at night I have had a wet patch on my top. By the time bubba arrives Ill probably be able to stand outside and aim my tits at the windows and give them a breast milk wash. No need for a hose to water the plants, Ill just come out and give them a good spraying! 

There you go, all you ever needed to know and much much more. I will post again after our scan and show you some pictures. Till then have a good week and remember the more things you have got to complain about in life the more things that you have to resolve. And I tell you what, resolving piles left me feeling pretty damn good!

Return of the baby bath

So if you are an avid follower you may recall during my first IVF cycle I became really inflamed in the womanly parts while I was taking my pessaries. In a nut shell I ended up squeezing my ass into the baby bath and sitting in cold salted water to relieve the stinging and burning. Why didn't you just sit in the normal bath you may ask? well really who wants to sit in a cold bath alone staring at a wall for half an hour, I mean its relaxing when its a nice deep hot bath otherwise its not. So I brought the baby bath into the lounge so I could watch TV whilst I sat there naked from the bottom half down gasping with relief. Anyhow what has all this got to do with now? well the good old bath is back, and no the baby hasn't arrived, but its mumma trying to squeeze into it yet again.

Why is it every time I get that damn bath out its not for a nice normal reason, like for example giving my baby a nice relaxing bath. Oh no, every time It comes out its because I have some kind of irritating pain. Ok, no more beating round the bush, I have piles. For god sake, if its not one hole its the other!.  Piles are very common in pregnancy and can be caused through constipation, well I've had that in the bucket loads, so all that pushing has obviously caused them. Seriously when the constipation eased I have never been so happy to sit down for a easy poo in all my life, but now I say "bring back the absent poo any day" its a far better problem than piles.

This is a really disgusting very un-lady like thing to be discussing, but lets be honest, you love reading about disgusting inappropriate troubles don't ya. I've heard piles can become a real problem during pushing out the baby, Jesus Christ Ill need to be careful not to push the whole insides of my ass out, never mind delivering a baby, you have delivered your whole ass contents madam. 

So the second I finished work I dashed into the shower and then got the baby bath out and filled it up with warm water and baking soda, this is meant to help. I was sure to close all the curtains, I didn't want to frighten 90yr old Pam who lives in the house behind ours, incase she decides to peer in and sees me naked in a very small bath, what would she make of that? well I sure wouldn't be getting any more nice old lady waves and smiles, more old lady snares and the middle finger.

So I fill up the bath in the kitchen and realise there is no way I can carry it into the lounge, so I just hop in it in the kitchen, of course I have filled it up to far and all the water overflows. Not only that I don't screw the lid back on the baking soda and drop it on the floor and baking soda goes everywhere. By this stage I'm over it, I stay in the bath for a wee while then get out. My towel is all wet from getting in the bath with it on, so I take the towel off to wipe up the water all over the floor. In walks my husband from outside and there I am on the kitchen floor on all fours completely naked wiping up the wet floor, there is white powder that looks like cocaine all over the floor and I'm practically in tears as I cant be bothered with all this carry on anymore, I tell ya it was a sight, it almost beats the previous run in with the baby bath. Gardener guy swept up all the baking soda and emptied the bath and dried it for me while I dried myself up and thank the lord I got dressed.

If there are any Robert Pattinson look alikes out there reading this blog, I really am not as disgusting as I sound, beyond all the piles and shit (literally) I actually scrub up not too bad. Trust me, I'm not always caught in compromising positions, sometimes I can be rather glam. Ha ha, yeah right. 


So this is the shit you deal with when pregnant, or maybe its just me, maybe I'm doomed to have issues with my front and rear end for the rest of my life, who knows, thinking about my 80yr old front and especially rear end is just too much to bear at the moment, all I can think about for now is lets hope next time I am talking about the baby bath it doesn't involve me getting in it and more me scrubbing my cute little baby.

We have movement!

So I have some pretty cool news, I have felt my wee boy move! Over the last 3 - 4 days I had felt some twitching like movements and these have carried on and become more frequent! So amazing!

I first felt it and didn't really take too much notice, I did think "oh, that's something new I haven't felt before, I wonder if that's the baby", then it kept happening. And now it is most definitely happening more and more. I so love it, it feels like a little twitch. 

Today I am 17 weeks pregnant, so I think I have been really lucky to feel it already! perhaps he has giant kicking feet! He seems to move more when I am still or at night, I have been told babies sleep when mothers are active as the movement rocks them to sleep and they wake when mothers are still and that's when they start moving around and giving us all a treat of feeling the movements.

Last night the most amazing thing ever happened, the baby was kicking and I started tapping on my belly with my hand and the baby kicked back! it was so funny I couldn't stop doing it and he kept kicking me back. I was laughing and laughing like a mental case and saying to gardener guy "he keeps doing it"! Now I just cant wait for gardener guy to feel him, its a bit unfair at the moment, I am getting all this excitement and he just has to wait, but it wont be too long now. 

I so just want to meet him now, I am almost half way, still ages to go. Gardener guy will just be such a loving caring dad. He is so good with Samuel who I look after. This morning when he arrived with his parents, gardener guy was still here as was running a bit late so Samuel was just chuffed to get to see gardener guy. Gardener guy sat him up at the table with his colouring book and got out some crayons for him and put all his little toys up on the table for him. The two of them chat away to each other like two old men, its very cute.Samuel follows gardener guy around the garden and talks to him about plants and asks lots of questions and likes looking in the shed with him and helping him stack the wood. I know this is an indication of what will happen with our little boy, the two of them will be out there pottering around together, I think this is really good, Samuel has been with me since he was about 8 months and has since grown up being out in the garden and helping pick all the veges, and since he has started talking he can identify all the vegetables, had he not been in our care and been exposed to all of the garden and helping so much he wouldn't be so onto it with all his vegetables. Its a great way for children to learn about where their veges come from at a young age, therefore making eating them more interesting.


So at 17 weeks there is alot going on for my little boy, he is measuring about 13 centimetres, he can yawn, stretch and make facial expressions.He has started to develop sweat glands and fingerprints. He still sleeps alot but has times where he stretches and moves about too. 

All is going well, I have no complaints today, I am feeling really well today, I had a good night last night which seems to have made a difference as most nights I feel really unwell. So Ill leave you all on a happy note and say farewell and hope everyone is doing well and I will update you all more next week.

4 Months!

I'm 4 Months! pretty damn great considering I never thought I would even get to 1 day pregnant. So here I am, and here is a quick run down for you all.


Size of Baby - about 10 - 11cms! ____________________________________________________ . That line is the length of the baby. That's quite big really, to go from having nothing in your belly to having a 10cm person in there is all too weird.

Maternity Clothes - Got my 2 cool pair of skinny jeans, really love these. Am able to wear tight tops now as don't just look like a fatso with a muffin top, actually look like a pregnant woman. Brought a great stretchy skirt for $10 in the weekend, and just waiting to see month by month how much I grow and what other stuff Ill need to get.


Weight Gain - Still only about 2kgs. So iv'e got alot of weight to gain yet, as normal weight gain is between 10 - 15kgs. I don't really care about weight gain, whatever I gain I gain.


Belly - Now is round and looks like a pregnant belly, Is hard when touched. Always looks alot bigger at night.


Sleep - Sleeping is alot better for me now than it was in the first trimester. I don't find it so hard to get to sleep as I did before, I am not restless and am pretty comfortable once I'm in bed, its the lying on the couch before bed that isn't very comfortable, I get to a point at night where I've had enough, I am not comfortable and just need to call it a day and go to bed.


Stretch Marks - None to speak of yet. But guess they will come. Whatever, not overly concerned.


Movement - Dont think I have felt anything as yet. Have been told that it could be any day now. One friend felt her first little fluttery movements at 17 weeks and other people are also around this time. This Is really what I'm looking forward to so much at the moment, I'm told I will know it when it happens, but so far I don't think I have felt the little fella yet.


Symptoms - Headaches, these have been quite bad. heartburn at night, dizziness occasionally. Still tired, this hasn't really eased for me, apparently in your second trimester you are meant to feel more alive, well for me I still feel tired. Stuffy nose, this is odd but a constant stuffed nose, especially when I wake in morning, I feel like I have a years worth of snot stuffed up there over night. But really all and all I cant complain, I feel good and happy.


Food - Well what can I say - Don't really think I have any weird cravings, still loving my ice cream but am not eating it so much, into fish cakes still. But just hungry more than usual.


Emotions - A bit up and down. I have been feeling a bit yuck and unattractive over the last few days, my hair needs re dying, my skin is a bit dry and I just feel a bit shit. Feel like I want to rip my husbands head off sometimes for various reasons but we wont go into that at the moment. I haven't been one of these crying pregnant ladies that I hear about. Irritability is high, at the moment there is a fly buzzing around and I can feel my blood boiling more and more, but that's ok, It will soon be dead, that's for sure.

Getting there, only 167 days to go! 

Beyonce VS Me

So Beyonce is up the duff aye! And way to go with the announcement, singing a tune and then opening up your jacket to reveal your belly and giving it a proud rub. Pfffff........ Just when I thought I was the most famous pregnant woman she had to go and upstage me (for those of you who cant detect my sarcasm - well it is there, and probably will be throughout this post and clearly I am not the most famous pregnant woman), well I was till Beyonce took over the show. All belly rubbing and fabulous singing and proud husband high fiveing his mates. Jay Z or what ever the hell he is called. Sit down Beyone, put down the mic because you have got some stiff competition. ME.


You know I don't really care that she is pregnant, its lovely and all that, but if I had been trying to still conceive and I had seen that performance I would not have been happy. So for all you still infertile woman out there, this is a show down between me and her. grrrrrrr...........

So what has she got that I don't? a fancy jacket to hide that belly, yeah sure, but really that's it, isn't it? ok so she may have a tad bit more money to buy some extravagant stuff for the wee tot but that's it really, she has a giant toosh that is only going to get bigger and to be honest my ass isn't looking too damn bad so far! so there! of course she is due the same month as me - February, so Ill have to source some information on her due date and make sure she is not going to re up stage me by giving birth on the same day as me, oh no that is not happening thank you very much, I am going to be first, and then because my announcement was so amazing no one will even care when her baby is born, I might even announce my baby's birth by hiding him under MY fancy coat and do a sing song then open my coat to reveal him in all his glory to the world and he will do some kind of really cute trick that will leave everyone speechless. 

One can only wonder with fear what kind of ridiculous name they will give their child, I am thinking something like Jay - once, Bey - Z, or the classic name that I think they may pick Tyreek. Horrid. One can wonder in fear also what their child may look like, and this isn't me being mean here but I have read online that alot of the general public are scared this poor child will come out looking like a monkey, an actual monkey. Now I never said this, but apparently people tend to think Jay - Z isn't the most dashing, handsome man to walk the planet, In fact he himself has been referred to as a monkey, so as you can see this is where the concern about this baby being a monkey comes from. Of course we all hope the baby takes after mumma Beyonce and looks beautiful but it's chance's aren't that good, Tyreek could be one scary baby.


Anyhow, Beyonce aside, lets get back to reality. I had my midwife appointment on Tuesday and that all went fine, my blood pressure is fine, baby's heartbeat was fine and all was you guessed it fine. We got given the form to book my 20 week scan and have another appointment with the midwife at 21 weeks. I am getting pretty nasty heartburn at night, a couple of nights ago I was feeling rough, I had a terrible headache and heartburn and just couldn't get comfy on the couch, I had to turn off all the lights and prop myself up and in the end I just gave up and went to bed. My belly is getting pretty out there now, I cant hide it (not that I want too), It is looking pretty round and cool. I will get gardener guy to take some nice pictures over the weekend so if I can get a decent one ill put it up for you too see. 


As I depart I must say I am of course just being silly in this post about Beyonce. But seriously who says "I want you all to feel the love that is growing inside of me", well not me, that's for sure. That over the top statement is enough for anyone to want to back me instead of Beyonce in the Beyonce VS Me war right?

And if Beyonce should happen to stumble across my blog, all I can say is "watch out girlfriend, my baby bump is going to bump your bump right out of town and I have some fierce infertile lady's watching my back, so take your fancy jacket and do those buttons back up lady, this town ain't big enough for both of our bumps"!

Your morning paper

One of my non blogging friends referred to my blog as her morning paper, she reads it every morning religiously and gets either a laugh or some thing else out of it for her day ahead. What a rubbish morning paper it has been lately!

So after this comment and all the other comments from bloggers I have decided how could I stop writing when not only do I enjoy it but I seem to be helping and giving woman a laugh when they might just need it on a rough day. I think I was just having a moment where I didn't really know what to write, "writer's block" so to speak, I cant really get myself a muse for some inspiration because I am my own inspiration really, I'm not writing fiction so I need to pull something out from what is happening in real life, and I guess some days I just have nothing at all to say. I got up, I worked, I ate, I went to bed, not exactly riveting. But I'm still here and I will keep writing about my pregnancy.

So picture this - pants that are made of track suit material but look like black skinny jeans. Heaven! I was given a pair of ripe maternity pants that are just amazing, they are the most comfortable things I have ever worn, I highly recommend every woman should own a pair, and I don't just mean every pregnant woman, who the hell needs jeans when you can have these little treasures covering your caboose. They are kind of like Jeggings but thicker material so you don't feel like a fatso just wearing leggings with no skirt. As I said Heaven. These are my new favourite thing. 


Favourite thing number two - buying little itsy bitsy shoes, oh dear god, these are just the cutest wee things on the planet. clearly they serve absolutely no purpose, after all my little boy isn't going to get up and go for a walk to the shops at 3months old, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't wear shoes. Yes I could just take him out in socks or booties but why not whack a pair of ultra cute shoes on the boy. I have brought 3 pairs of 3 - 6mths old shoes and plan on having a whole load of them (so there you go people, gift idea right there, hint hint). I still think perhaps I shouldn't buy stuff as he could still turn out to be a she at the 20 week scan, but I just cant help myself, I don't mean too, it just happens. Oh well bugger it, its making me happy, if he turns into a she well then Ill just put away all the boys stuff and pray the next one is a boy. I don't think the 20 week scan will show any different, I'm either having a boy or a 3 legged girl either way there will be shoes on feet. 

Favourite thing number three - desserts. I kind of wish this new obsession would go away, this cant be good for my waist line and the worst part is now I have no idea what is extra fat and what is the baby! I have gained about 1.5kgs, which doesn't really seem like alot considering how big I seem to be getting. I literally feel like I'm going to explode some nights, my belly is so hard and feels ready to pop open at the seams, not that this stops me from shovelling in some more cake! as I have said before I have always been a real savory person, I didn't have much of a sweet tooth, well this is all out the window since my little bubba has made himself at home. Last night I made the worlds hardest rock cake you have ever had, I swear if you threw it at a window in an aeroplane (you know the ones, that the glass is so thick they aren't meant to break), well if you threw this cake at that window it could crack the whole window open and then the cake would come spiralling back at you and hit you in the head and kill you. It was hard. A stogy hard cake. Anyhow I am over that and onto the next baking disaster, today I made a lemon and apricot slice, this turned out great actually, so sweet but so good. I also plan to make a sticky date pudding with gooey caramel sauce tonight so we will see how that goes. 

Most frustrating thing at present - Now this one links into the reason the cake was so hard. Memory and brain function in general = ZERO. Yes for some reason being pregnant turns you into some kind of thicko who can barely remember your own name led alone a cake in the oven. So yes the cake was hard because I literally had no recollection of making one, even though there was plenty of dirty cake bowls and spoons lying around and a smell of cake wafting out of the oven to give me a hint something was cooking, I forgot. And this isn't the only incident, I went into the supermarket the other day to get a tin of tomatoes, that was it, I got in there and had not a clue what I wanted, no fucking idea!! do you know how frustrating this is, what the hell was I to do, I walked round and round and for some reason brought a 1kg box of fish cakes, not quite tin tomatoes but that's what jumped out at me. Do you want to hear more? well this is a goodie, the other day I asked gardener guy to please bring in the washing for me (yes I am saying please these days), and he brought it in, I folded it all and put it all away. So about 20minutes later I open the window and shout out " Hey, I asked you to bring in the washing! can you bring it in"!!, he looked at me confused and said "are you serious", I then looked at him confused and replied," ah well yes", he then replied " I already brought it in, you folded it and put it away"!, oops..... don't recall that but as I look out to the empty washing line I realise this must be true. loopy aye!. So in a nutshell don't invite me anywhere because chances are I wont remember to turn up.

Upcoming events - Well our midwife appointment is this Tuesday since the last one never happened, get to hear the heart beat again and I will be 15 weeks pregnant! whoa!. Then only 5 weeks till 20 week scan! hopefully in next few weeks I feel the baby move, I expect to feel faint fluttering like movements, apparently I will know them when I feel it, but so far I dont think I have, but any time now! how cool will that be. Or the lazy bugger will just be sleeping all the time due to an overload of dessert.                      
  
So although this now weekly paper may not exactly have all the hard hitting international events on every page it will still have plenty of truth, which is something reporters strive so hard to get out of a story and so rarely seem to achieve, so here my truth will continue to fill these pages and give you a smile hopefully as we can only take so much of reading about earthquakes, terrorists, poverty, murders and all that stuff, sometimes we just want to wake up, have a nice strong coffee and curl up on the couch and read something that starts the day on a happy note. And that is what you will get, as long as I can remember what I'm meant to be writing about!

My baby is a Lemon

So here we are in the second trimester! at 14 weeks pregnant my baby is the size of a lemon and funnily enough I'm so into eating lemons! I'm just batty for lemons, I put them with everything and I don't just mean a squeeze here and there, oh no, I mean full on slices on lemon! Skin and all! Frozen fish cakes (cooked obviously), with lemon slices are just fab, weird huh!. I'm also feeling really good, after all the excitement of finding out the sex of the baby I have got very used to having a boy and am really into it. I feel like having a little boy is right and I'm so looking forward to meeting him.


So the news is as follows - we had our 14 week midwife appointment last night and we turned up all ready to discuss everything and our midwife had to dash, she needed to go and deliver a baby! so we quickly went in and got my blood pressure taken which was fine and lied down on the bed and the midwife used her Doppler to listen to the babies heartbeat. It was nice we got to hear the heartbeat again but that was it, she quickly booked us in for a proper appointment next Tuesday. I got a text from her this morning with our babies down syndrome results and he is at low risk of down syndrome so we are pleased with that.


In other news the constipation has eased off a bit and I seem to be almost back to normal on that front. As said above I'm loving lemons, still loving ice cream, am not feeling quite as tired, mind you I sat on the couch today with the two boys racing around me and could barely manage to get up, I felt so had it. Apparently I should start to get that weird hair line over my belly soon but so far its not there. My belly is getting bigger by the second and is feeling really hard, I'm actually starting to look pregnant and had a comment from one of the boys mums today that I was looking pregnant. Some clothes are getting damn uncomfortable, so in the next week or so it will be "here I come maternity clothes". I am not sleeping on my stomach at all anymore as it squashes my melon like boobs and makes me worry I'm hurting the baby!


I have been thinking about giving up on the blog as I don't really think anyone gives a shit about my updates anymore. When I was trying to conceive and was doing treatments there was always someone interested as they were doing the same and we all needed support and a place to air all our dirty laundry, but now all I'm doing is writing about how happy I am and silly pregnancy stuff, do I really need to keep blogging? I'm not sure. I know initially when I got pregnant I said I would continue but am not so sure now, or maybe I will just leave my blog open and do a post maybe once a week, even if it is just a small one, yes think that's what I will do at the moment. I still continue to read the blogs I have always been following and offering supporting words and will keep doing so.


Thanks for listening, me and my little lemon are off to lie down on the couch as reach for a bowl of ice cream and perhaps a few slices of lemon on top.  

13 Week follow up scan and an interesting surprise!

Well well followers, haven't I got some interesting news for you.


Yesterday we had my follow up scan to see the baby after the bleeding episode. I was nervous as usual, I just needed to see the baby to get that final confirmation that it was ok. Gardener guy was very certain that all was fine so his stress levels were zero and he probably was thinking I'm a mad woman, but hey hes not the one carrying this child now is he.


The sonographer was really great and we were there for ages, so she looked around at all the different body parts and took pictures of them all and was just really really lovely and took the time to explain everything. After seeing that of course the baby was all fine and dandy and growing right on track she asked us if we had found out the sex of the baby at our 12 week scan, I said "no" because obviously I never knew you could tell, I had heard a few times of people finding out at 12 weeks if they asked but not getting offered by the sonographer. She then said to us "would you like to know because I can have a look for you if you like", I looked at gardener guy and he had a grin on his face like "oh wow" and I told her we really wanted to know. She got a different scanner that was more sensitive and had a nosey, she then told us "BOY"! She was pretty certain and showed us what she was looking at and sure enough as clear as day there it was in between his legs, was very funny. She said of course you will get told again at the 20 week scan but she was very sure it is a boy!


Now at first I said to Gardener guy, we are not to tell anyone, but how long did that last......20 or so seconds. Even though the gender predictions can never be certain at any scan I just had to tell people, how do you keep that from people! it's so exciting. And I really don't think at the 20 week scan we are going to be told, "oh sorry its actually a girl", Just what I think. So I rang my parents and the most exciting thing for me was telling my dad, he has always wanted a boy, he is a fisherman and always tried to hassle me to go fishing with him when I was little and I did a few times but I'm not a boy am I, I really just wanted to go home and bake some cakes with mum. So I was really excited to tell him. I told mum and then told her not to tell dad, when dad got home he rang me and I told him I had some exciting news, when I told him we got told the sex of the baby he was convinced it was a girl as all his family members had girls for their first babies, I said "no, its a boy"! well he was just so over the moon and the delight in his voice was fantastic. I felt really happy, I knew a a grandson was what dad really wanted and I knew that secretly a son is what gardener guy wanted so to give that to both of them was very nice. I know I'm not meant to say this but I kind of wanted a girl for my first, I wanted to buy all the dresses and girly stuff but really after being told it was a boy and giving such delight to dad and my husband I really couldn't care less what the sex is! I have looked after lots of boys and currently am caring for boys so I am very used to boys and I think boys are really funny and as much as dresses and all things pink are exciting to buy, there are some pretty trendy boys stuff out there too!


So there you go, a really amazing day yesterday, I just felt so much better after that scan and now I'm relaxed, I am not stressing over silly things, I am having a son and bring it on!


Another wee update on all things pregnancy, I received a breast pump I brought in the mail today, it is an Avent on the go manual breast pump, it comes with all the bottles and ice packs and all the other strange bits and bobs and all discretely packed away in a black shoulder bag. No one would know what you were walking around with until you opened it up and you turned into a milking cow, I find it so funny, you put the suction piece over your boob and pump the lever and just like that out comes the babies lunch! I've gone from buying sexy bras for my boobs to buying a bloody contraption that looks like it belongs on a cows udder.


my belly is looking more and more round every damn day, again I've gone from buying clothes to make me look sexy to buying practical loose fitting clothes that will last me right up until I'm the size of yes you guessed it a cow! Hot and sexy  - No, Stretchy and comfortable - yes.


My internet searches have also changed slightly, I've gone from searching for fun clothes to buy, fun places to go out for dinner at and generally all things fun to searching for vaginal spotting and breast changes.


hmmmm..... so it seems gone are the 20's, party's, fancy clothes, late nights, random men, too much booze, waking up in the morning on the floor fully clothed with a kebab hanging out of my mouth. Welcome to the 30's, that's all nights in front of the telly, slippers and dressing gown, early nights, random husband, zero booze and waking up in the morning nice and tucked up in bed with wholly socks and a nice fresh glass of water on the nightstand. But hey, guess we have to grow up one day, or in my case pretend really really hard to be grown up. 

Although it seems my priority's have somewhat shifted, I'm still up for a few of those bring home a kebab and a big mac and a bag full of random stolen goods from random don't know where we were bars, after all we always need extra cutlery and a few glasses here and there and eating your body weight in burgers is really really fun especially if you can manage to keep it all down and not bring up the remains in the morning. I can still be 20 something, But honestly for now I'm quite happy to be 30 and thinking about nappies, breast pumps and all those grown up things, after all I am going to welcoming my son into the world soon and lets be honest no one wants to see their mum waltzing in after hours with a skirt up her ass and her lipstick smudged across her face while carrying an empty wine bottle and singing "I am woman, hear me roar", so for my sons sake Ill behave 30 something and be very sensible but at heart I'm still a silly 20 something, but for now me and gardener guy will keep that too ourselves and behave as sensible parents should.