Monday, April 4, 2011

Guide to bad parenting

Well folks, even though I have no children of my own, I could quite easily write a guide to bad parenting, after having been in childcare for almost 10 years I have seen it all. I have heard every hair brain, pathetic excuse as to why their child doesn't sleep much, eat much and generally is just a little shit. I have heard it all. There is always an excuse from the parents, when really ill let you in on a little secret, its not bloody rocket science, It's just the parents fault!!! start good habits when the child is young and your away laughing.

I am going to let you in on a few things that I see over and over again, and quite frankly its just starting to piss me off. Really the majority of parents out there need to just get some damn ball! your child shouldn't rule your life, you shouldn't be afraid of upsetting your child. You are the adult so get a grip!

Two of the biggest complaints from parents are sleeping and eating. My child wont go to sleep, my child wont stay in their own bed, my child wont sleep for very long during the day, my child wakes so early in the morning, and my child wont eat much, my child is so fussy. Well its very simple really, and sometimes I just want to shake the shit out of parents, because honestly I feel like all their head must be filled with is shit, no brains. Start good habits early, for starters you need to get your child in their own room early on, weather you like it or not I believe this is very important, If your child keeps getting up to come to your bed, its not hard, you keep taking them back, they will eventually get it, don't give in. It will work. SIMPLE!, your child knows they can try it on with you, If they cry, you get them up, cuddle them, fluff around like an old lady. NO!, don't let them have the control, when they get to a certain age they need to learn to stay in there bed/cot without screaming, till you are ready to get them up, don't be dictated by their time schedule. This will eventually work, they will realise you are not going to get them up when they wake at 5.30am screaming, rather you are going to leave them there till an acceptable time. They will understand and stop screaming and just quietly chat away to themselves till YOU are ready.


Eating is much the same concept, you as a parent need to be in control. Again when your child gets to a certain age they will not die if they don't eat a full meal, they will not starve, if they are hungry they will eat. When you present your child with a meal, that is it. They take it or leave it. If they carry on and have a meltdown you don't give in and ask them what they want, god no, that is the meal you have made for them and that is what they will eat. Its always a good idea to reward good eating with a treat after, perhaps a biscuit, but if the meal is not eaten then no treat. Not hard is it? So many parents I come across are just too weak, they give in to quickly, they don't even give their child a chance to show them how clever and well behaved they can be, they create monsters.Your child will eat their dinner when they realise they are not going to get away with it. 

Use that simple rule, " children will do as they are told when they know they have no other option" don't give them an option to be able to play up. Be in control!

Ok well that's enough of me on my high and mighty horse, I'm not sure where this came from, I just get so mad with my job sometimes. Just because I don't have my own child doesn't mean I cant give my advice, after all a builder who doesn't own his own home would still give advice on what to use to build a house, a doctor that doesn't have cancer can still give advice on the best treatment, so I'm no different. 


After the weekend gardener guy seems to have got back to positive thinking, I even told him last night that this IVF was going to work and he replied "I know that, it will work", so that's really good, he is much more useful and happier when he gets himself in a postive  frame of mind, even though we have done this before and we are yet to see it pay off.  I have also been thinking a bit lately about the future and what it hold for us if this fails and how to move forward and deal with that, but Ill save that for another blog. For now we know where to keep our focus on and keep our eye on the prize.


I know everyone has a different approach to parenting and I would never try to force my opinions upon a parent as they are the best parent for their own child no matter how they go about it. I just think alot of parents make things harder for themselves which is a shame. Like everything in life, you put a bit of effort in at the beginning and you get more out of it in the end. That's what I'm trying to think with our quest to make a baby, we have put alot of effort into it and in the end we will get more out of it then we could ever imagine.

12 comments:

  1. I'm SO gonna save this post and show it to you in a while when your cute lil baby is bawling its eyes out and you are soothing it or trying to come into bed for cuddles and you are letting it, mwahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!

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  2. Nope, I wont let it!!!! Ok maybe only a little bit.......But you must get my drift, you know what I mean by weak parents. You have dealt with your fair share of them too!

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  3. Also not to cause some kind of outrage, I didn't mean all this in regards to little new babies, I meant when they are a bit bigger

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  4. I had know idea that you worked in childcare.
    Same - Same, well I worked in childcare for 11 years then 1.5 months ago I started Family Day Care.

    I get what your saying. Sometimes they think it is easier to give in but in the long run it isn't. What age do you look after?

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  5. I bet you see all kinds of parents, don't you! I'm so glad that you and gardener guy are feeling more optimistic!

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  6. I've been doing in-home family therapy for two years and so many times the kids have been diagnosed with "mental illness" because their parents are inconsistent or have done a shitty job parenting them. 99% of my job is teaching proper parenting skills, and the parents get annoyed that I'm not "fixing" their KID, so then they don't really care about doing much to change. This is one of the reasons I'm so burnt out and headed to a new, non-child-related job!

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  7. I completely agree... someone told me to parent with "love and limits" and it works - no mucking around / no battles over bedtime and food and lots of love for the good things. You'll make a great mum with so much experience and you're right to keep your eye on the prize... determination and love will get you there :) Love always xoxo

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  8. I'm with Debs, come back and read this post when it's your little shit. I do have a fussy eater. That is a mighty high horse you rode in on today..

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  9. I'm not claiming I know everything and that I would be a perfect parent, It's just ridiculous how some parents let their kids ride all over them.That was all I was saying.

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  10. Thank you....i have been waiting to find someone who thinks the same way, some friends of mine laughed at me for saying more or less what you said just because i dont have children and they do, but i used to look after a little boy while i was in school and his parents didnt stand for his attention seeking ways and i saw him grow into such a mature little man who was a pleasure to take out in public. It is common sense a lot of it but i guess a lot of people leave that in the labour ward.

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  11. You speak the truth! Some parents drive me crazy, they are worse than the children. They allow these kids to do whatever will keep them quite. Oh yeah what a great idea. How about bribing them to eat dinner. then when they eat a few bites rewarding them. That'll teach em! Some people i know but i wont say do this and it annoys the crap out of me. I am strict yet somehow the favorite aunt. I don't tolerate the disobedient attitude however when they show good behavior the surely get rewarded. by the way i wish you the best of luck with everything your going through. Kinda crazy but when i feel shitty, i always enjoy reading your posts. they crack me up and remind me that i am not alone and we can all agree. THIS SUCKS!

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  12. I am glad to hear your husband is more positive about this next upcoming cycle. I totally agree with the frustrations about parents letting their kids rule them. MY sister in law brings her baby into her bed. So when any of us try to put my niece in her crib when we babysit, it does not work, She cries for an hour and does not take her nap. we feel helpless. We also feel it is unfair for my niece. she does not get to learn independence because her parents are very needy. Oh well...there is only so much we can control.

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