Sunday, April 24, 2011

Holidays are hard to do

Holidays are all about taking your family away for a nice break, spending some quality time together. Parks, walks, feeding animals, swimming, beaches. All these thing's to enjoy and do together. If you don't have children and want them all this is just a bit damn bleak really.


Easter holidays are upon us, and me and Gardener guy went away for a little break together. We thought It would be nice to have a break and relax before all the drugs begin, and It was really nice but you know what holidays are hard to do, and clearly not just for me, but for gardener guy too, let me explain. We went to a park for a walk yesterday afternoon and this was when gardener guy got upset, more so than me, i guess i can put that down to the fact that I am round kids and parks and all that carry on more as part of my job so I get used to it, (I don't like it, but I get used to it), so anyhow we are strolling around like a very mature couple (all an act, trust me we are not a mature couple!), and all we see are children happily feeding the ducks with their parents, laughing away, children riding the little steam train as dad takes a proud picture from the sidelines, children playing on the playground, running around and sliding and swinging, children enjoying an ice cream as it drips down their chin..... Oops, probably not the best place to go in our state. Anyhow gardener guy tells me he feels a bit sad, and wants to be going on the train with his kid, wants to be chasing them round the playground and going down the slide (not appropriate without kids), he wants to be watching them get excited about everything, that is what will make him happy and excited, is watching them be happy and excited. But we don't have that, and I guess during holidays it just becomes more apparent when family's are out and about. It's not something you can escape, it's life.


A few people we know were doing Easter egg hunts with their kids today, and again my gardener guy said how much he would love to do that for his kids, he will be such a cute dad, and it really makes me sad when I know how sad he is, and how he has to wait, if he wasn't with me and was with someone else he probably would have kids by now. It's not a nice feeling. I just feel like he is missing out because of me.


Oh well, I'm counting on having a little treat of my own for next Easter, I probably shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch as they say, but who cares, positive thinking and all that, next year my gardener guy can do an egg hunt, even if it is just for a little baby who is rolling round on the floor like a chocolate egg, he will be in heaven. Now time to go and stuff a big fat chocolate egg down my face. Happy Easter!

7 comments:

  1. so sorry you had a hard day, that sounds like it would have been difficult. hoping today is better for you both....

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  2. I know how you feel. I try hard to make the holidays special for just the two of us but there is always a small ache in my heart on every holiday.

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  3. Holidays are hard without children. I just said to my hubby yesterday that I thought if we had kids we would feel differently about spending out entire day with his parents. I also wanted to let you know I nominated you for an award!

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  4. The holidays do seem to stir up some stronger feelings....I had a mini breakdown last night while I was watching my sister and her family dye eggs with my niece who is three. We all want this so badly...I hope we all celebrate holidays with ours soon!

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  5. Hope your easter w/end brings more peace than sadness for you... love your positive thinking and knowing that next year will be different for you both. Love always xoxo

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  6. So sorry it was a hard day for both you and Gardener Guy. Nothing like holidays to remind us of what we don't have, is there? I hope next Easter will be very different for you!!!

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  7. It's almost as if you crawled inside my head and took the words right out. This is exactly how I have felt today and every holiday since DH and I started TTC. I can only pray that next Easter we will BOTH have little ones to spend the day with!

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