I like to forward plan. I like to know when things are going to happen and I like to organise myself so I have got everything ready, so I know what is what. I'm not crazy (stop rolling your eyes), I just think that forward planning helps me keep in control. I wake up in the morning and I like to plan what me and the boys are going to do for the day, I like to plan my dinner menu, I plan that I will fold that mound of washing stuffed in the cupboard, where no one can see it of course.Shhhhh.... So why would my baby plans be any different, I have forward planned there too.
Now you must remember I initially thought this would all happen alot quicker and this planning was a good idea because soon I would have a baby, but when that never happened I guess the forward planning just kept going. I plan my clothes, I think I must not throw that dress out that I haven't worn in a million years as It's nice and stretchy and will be good for when I'm pregnant, I forward plan with buying baby clothes, I have a bag of clothes and other goods up in the wardrobe, knitted clothes my mum started when I told her we were trying for a baby, I have a baby bath (as you know from previous posts, this has many uses, not just for a baby)!. I have borrowed a bouncenette and a play gym that is under the spare bed waiting to be used. I forward plan with the spare room, I have planned I will get rid of the double bed to make more room and buy a nice arm chair to feed the baby in in their room at night. I plan that we need a new little cupboard in the kitchen to put bottles, sterilizer, cups, plates, spoons, bibs etc in. I plan that I want a white cot, and that Gardener guy needs to turn into painter guy and paint the drawers in the spare room white. I plan that as soon as I get my positive, Ill be right off to the bookshop to arm myself with reading material on pregnancy and birth. I tell you what I am so organized for this baby, so damn sorted, so damn ready, that it's so ironic that the only thing I cant plan is when it will be arriving.
It makes me mad at all these couple's who get pregnant who have nothing planned and ever so casually start to buy stuff and get the babies room sorted 2 weeks before their arrival! Are you even excited? I will be so happy and so grateful and so excited that I will have everything organised and ready to go months before hand. I am waiting so patiently for this plan to be put into action, but I cannot wait any longer. It's excruciating. Until you have waited for something so precious as a baby for so long you can never get how shitty this is. Let me start the plan! god damn it! Gardener guy wont know what hit him, I tell ya when we get the go ahead, It will be like the start of a construction job, out will come all the blueprints (aka the big list of what to buy) and instead of reaching for a gardening book to read beside his bed it will be replaced with a book with some kind of creepy title like " the dad's guide to babies, boobs and bottles". Gardener guy will look confused and search for his gardening book but.......... when he opens his drawer he will be greeted with " First time Fathering" . Ahhhhhh........... And that will only be the beginning, he will open a kitchen cupboard, bam, out jumps a strange pump like contraption, is this an attachment to that food processor we were given? this will be followed by me giving him a demonstration of how I have turned from the wife with the sexy DD breasts, to the wife who resembles a cow in the milking shed. If all this seems like enough, well there will be more, His shed will be filled with buggy's, various out door toys, I will take over every corner of his life with my forward planning. He wont even know who the heck he is after I've finished with him, He will have knowledge coming out of his ass, I will bombard him with plans for the babies sleeping, feeding, what we will do when we get home from the hospital, what the baby will wear, when he is allowed to touch the baby (just kidding!!!), I'm not that controlling! well not quite. But do you know what, He will love every second of it. All my husband wishes is that he can soon see me properly happy, and he knows there is only one way for this to happen, so he wont care how crazy and over the top I become because I will be happy, and I bet he will be crazy and over the top right along side me, as this is all he wants too.
Planning when I get our baby is something I haven't been able to do, its out of my control and I hate that. I don't know when it will come into our lives, but when it does I can happily regain my control and forward plan. Oh dear I will have my child's life planned up until its bloody 20yrs old. Well no not really, I will never plan my child's life for them, once they are old enough to decide what they want, all I can hope for is that they are happy, feel loved and as far as I'm concerned they can plan that any way they please.