Thursday, March 17, 2011

The doll house of dreams

When I was little my dad made me a dolls house. It wasn't the penthouse of doll house's by any means. it was made from 2 beer crates. very 80's. he drank a crate of beer and I got my dream, my very own doll's house. It was carpeted and wallpapered and had tenny weeny furniture in it. I loved it. It had the perfect little family inside it. A mum, a dad, 1 boy, 1 girl and a baby in the cot. For me that was the dream, and I guess it really hasn't changed all too much.

Today I went and visited my friend who just had her wee baby boy a week ago. I must say I felt a little nervous and worried that I might have some kind of meltdown, but I was ok. I got there and as usual all was the same, nothing had really changed except there was a extra wee person in the house. My friend was still the same and didn't make a big fuss over it all. And I felt fine. He was a lovely little boy and it's so nice for them. 

Seeing their little family was like stepping into a doll house of dreams. Just like the kind I had when I was little. She has her little family, her little dream. It's so nice.It's all so chaotic, In a lovely kind of way. There is so much life between their four walls. And coming home just felt a bit quiet and lifeless to be honest. I actually look forward to seeing her baby again, It reminds me why I'm putting myself through all these horrible things. I'm not saying I want to be surrounded by a herd of babies all the time, but her and her family are different. She is my family.

So I'm all good, no need to fit me for a straight jacket just yet. On other news, the dreaded period is due on Saturday, so it's likely I wont have anything to say till then. And It will come, lets not be naieve here. It will come, but that's ok, then I only have 1 more cycle till our next IVF. Yah.

A doll house your father makes you is something to be treasured, you redecorate and change a few aspects over time to fit in with your dream, but it seems nothing much changes. A dream of a home with 3 children is pretty much still what I want now. Perhaps I would change the retro floral carpet, and maybe living in a house made from beer crates is not ideal, but beggar's cant be chooser's, Spending $26,000 to get a baby is not likely to leave me much change to live in anything but a house made from beer crates. But I wasn't complaining then, And I wont be complaining now. 

Having a plastic store brought dolls house is over rated. Having a house built out of love is far better. A good lesson in life really. I bet that little family living in the beer crate house was alot happier than the family living in the plastic house. $20 buys you a good night on the beers and leaves you with something to be made into a little girl's dream. Not too shabby really.


  1. Glad to hear your visit with your friend went well! I am sure it feels like your next IVF is a ways off, but time has a way of going by in the blink of an eye.

  2. I love this post! Not too shabby indeed.

  3. you always put things in perspective. I so appreciate it. You know..lately I have been seeing more doll houses. It reminds me of when I was five, and watching my dad struggle to build my doll house. It was kind of funny and touching! I am trying to imagine a doll house made of beer cans.

  4. Hi,

    Yes, you have a way with words!! Hold on to your dreams, April is around the corner!!

    Have a good day!

  5. That's a very true lesson in life... there should be a lot more houses built out of love with happy families inside - not plastic ones that are soulless. Hope time flies until your next IVF and one step closer to your dream xoxo

  6. Love this post - beautiful. I love the thought of your dad making you a doll house out of his beer crate, and you making your family too.

  7. I love this post. You are so right, how much changes to those dreams we have held on to from our childhoods. What amazing symbolism.
    I am giving you credit for managing the visit so well, new borns and pregnant women are very hard for me.
    wishing you well....

  8. I love this story and agree totally about the store bought vs. made with love. Those memories are worth way more than a 'fancy' anything!

  9. I just saw your comment and wanted to let you know about this cycle. Keep in mind this is IVF 6 so it is kind of like a last ditch effort. My meds were lupron and ganal-f. I tend to get a lot of immature eggs so mu RE stimmed me a little longer (and now I have mild ohss unfortunately but much better maturity rates). We do co-colture for embryo quality. I did some acupuncture and stopped eating gluten this month. Who knows what makes the difference anyway. If you have more questions please email me at