Saturday, March 26, 2011

Here she goes again!

Blah blah blah, that's all your probably hearing, here goes the moaning bitch again. More moaning ahead, more complaining ahead. As a man would say " I can see her mouth moving, but I don't hear what's coming out", which is probably a clever way to be, just block me out.

But you know what, I guess if I had nothing to complain and moan about then why would I need to be writing a blog about infertility. Let's face it no one ever wants to hear about other people's happiness. We don't care that Anne is living in a lovely home with a white picket fence and has a handsome successful husband, has 3 children, a dog named Ralph, a cat named Martha and has sex 3.5 times a week. (not sure what the .5 means, it just sounds better). No one wants to read a blog she writes. Fuck off Anne, we would much rather read a blog about say Joan, who lives in a mouldy old flat with her impotent husband, has no children due to the impotent problem, has no money and is having an affair with the guy in the opposite flat in hope he will be more successful in the bedroom department. Yes Joan's blog would get much more followers. Unfortunately we just seem to prefer hearing about other people's problems, although no one wants to admit it but it makes us feel better about ourselves, but more importantly it makes us feel that we are not alone, we are not the only one's failing, at whatever the problem may be. So I guess the continued complaining from me will still bring in the followers. I'm Joan, minus the impotent husband and affair, and oh the mouldy flat, ok so I'm not Joan, but I have problems and I will continue to complain. Sorry but here I go again.

Today I just felt a bit miserable. Me and Gardener guy had many discussions today about how we were just a bit bored, we wanted a little someone to run around after. Me chasing Gardener guy round the house just isn't the same!. I'm counting down the days till our doctors appt on 1st April, perhaps we can get some answers, well likely not, it will be the same thing said, it was just bad luck. Blah blah blah, never the less it will be good to get our new treatment plan wrote up and get closer to IVF 2. Tonight I decided to have some wine with dinner, I just felt miserable and needed it. I always stop alcohol well before IVF as it makes me feel like I'm helping out in some way, I know there is no hard and fast rules about how far in advance you should stop hitting the bottle, but quite a bit in advance before all my treatments I stopped completely. Tonight I just thought to hell with it, I need a drink, now I'm not about to go running down to the bottle store and tip a bottle of rum down my throat but a nice wine is good! IVF should be back up and running in about 3 weeks so one drink now is ok for me, besides what good has being sober done for me previously. Nothing!.

I know I sound like a moaning Minnie and I may not be the most fun friend in the world at the moment to those of you reading, but that's how it is at the moment, I'm no Anne, I don't have everything going as planned, who wants a friend like Anne anyhow, a perfect friend with a perfect life, no thanks, I think It makes friendship and relationships more real if you have battles to fight, problems to conquer together.

My blog will continue to be full of moaning and groaning and madness, but at least you know everything you are reading is real and brutally honest and I can guarantee you I will never lie and what you see (or what you read) is what you get, hold on for the ride, strap yourself in, ride along side me, scream if you must, because I can honestly say this wont be the last time you will be thinking "here she goes again"!


  1. Anne is secretly jeleous of Joan! Anne cooks boring meatloaf dinners, and Joan feeds of French, Thai, and morocan spices. I will be honest, if you posted about butterflies, rainbows and sunsets, I would probably not read. You are WAY more interesting than that! 3wks will fly, and more mumbles, excitement and passion!

  2. Don't forget...

    "It's better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies" - Arthur Calwell

    So keep on "moaning Minnie" (which you really aren't) because it's what brings us back for more. We're all in this together and there is something to be said for being real. It's what I appreciate the very about your blog if you want the truth.

    Humor + Reality = A Great Writer.

  3. I think the brutal honesty is why we are here! We understand and can empathize with you so I know that I for one do not see it as being a "moaning Minnie." Besides, even if we (I am including myself and probably others) are "moaning Minnies" from time to time...well, we DESERVE to be!

    Hope you feel better and have a wonderful weekend!

  4. I think it's great that you can be so brutually honest. Through your words, I can totally relate and don't feel so alone at times. Enjoy your wine and looking forward to hearing about your plan for IVF 2.

  5. Moan away sweetie! We'll be hear to listen to your moaning...and guess what? We'll be hear to listen to your JOYS when that time comes too! Excited for IVF #2 for you!!!!

  6. you crack me me up Clewis!!! I wish I was there having a glass of wine with you! You are a hoot!!! I feel yeah. I can't stand to be around people that say everything is perfect. it can't possibly be..and if they say it they are probably fake. In life..the challenges are what make us stronger and have character:)

  7. Brutal honesty is always the beat way! And you're right, it will keep bringing us back. I hate the answer of "bad luck" from the doc, but sometimes it really does pay to try, try again! Hang in there!

  8. I know what you mean about the boredom and wanting a little person to run around after!It's like our lives are all on hold-we're ready for the next step but just can't get there. IF is crap and you're allowed to vent as much as you like-it's your blog!

  9. You're so much as I don't wish problems on anyone, I just don't feel like I have anything in common with those who have the perfect little life, you know? My life's messy, and I prefer to hang out with those who have it messy too. Although remember you can have problems/have gone through a lot of bad stuff and still have happy things IVF #2 working perfectly. :) Here's hoping...
    -Kristen from