Today is Monday, which means back to work. Which for me means back to being around children. I care for children in my own home, so switching off and not thinking about children is never really an option for me. I have been in childcare for 10 or so years, and as I said, Ive had it with other people's children.
Probably over the past month it has started to get to me, I put all my energy and childcare skills and knowledge into other people's children and i've had enough.Im not about to pack up work but I guess it really Intensifies the fact that i do not have a child of my own. Im constantly surrounded by annoying mothers at playgroups etc, ranting and raving about sleeping, breast feeding and all that other crap. Ive even had the odd mother ask me why I dont have my own children! Bitches.... And everytime I have to explain that the boys I look after aren't mine, well its like taking a bullet. So over the last week or so iv'e been laying low at home as cant deal with it.
So today is another day closer to my result day. Im not analizing things yet, as still have quite some time to go, but i do constantly think about how Im meant to gather myself up if i get bad news and be all happy for xmas. My Gardener Guy is always really good, but even he is sometimes lost for things to say to me. I really sympathize with all these woman, and the next time one of those smug mothers ask you why you don't have children tell her "it's because I really don't want to risk bringing another child into the world as ugly as yours"!!! Go on I dare you!