Angry..... Yes I am. I'm feeling very angry today. Ive been reading a book called "the stork club". It's really good and amusing about one woman's hellish road through IVF. I became angry reading this, angry that I'm going to have to take drugs to shove me into what is basically menopause, then drugs to shoot me right back up and produce mega amounts of eggs, I'm angry that I have to inject myself and angry that i may have to shove progesterone pessaries inside me, angry that I'm going to have to have more time off work to recover, angry that I'm going to be living a life basically of a monk, I'm angry that I have to do this and other people don't have too.
Bitchy, Yes I am. Bitchy to my husband, and bitchy about stupid day to day things.bitchy about watching other people's happiness on tv. I'm so bitchy I need to stop here, before I say something far to bitchy.
Crying, Yes I do. I haven't cried actually since the 24th December, so am doing pretty well, I'm inclined to think I'm all dried up. Ive used all the tears one person get's given in a life time.
and Eager, Yes I am. I've always been eager to start thing's and get a move on, no matter how scary and horrible. I'm over eager, I go into doctors appt's like some kind of desperate spotty teenager trying get a date, I'm pushy, I'm so eager it is desperate. If the laboratory was open, il'd probably sneek in there and try to perform the surgery myself.
I'm not even on any drugs at the moment and I'm still weird, I hate to think what things I'm going to write when I get back on drugs. watch out it will be scary.
On a lighter note, a passage in the book that i really liked and thought was quite funny is as follows: " I cant believe our bad luck. We are a quite unremarkable couple, trying to do a rather normal thing - why are we so goddam special when it comes to babies? What are we trying to breed here, some bloody rare bird?
I really like that, You would think I was trying to produce something difficult and rare, it's a baby for god sake, nothing rare, you could say they are as common as muck. It's not rocket science..... Hold on, for me and many ladies it is!
I just really wish, A could be for Amazing, B could be for Bright, C could be for Carefree and E could be for Elle Macpherson.....Hmmm, the first 3 will come back to me, but sadly the 4th one is really not going to be me.