Yes, we are nearing the finish line. Only 2 more sleeps to go. To say I'm scared would be a huge understatement. I'm petrified, anxious, a bundle of nerves. And it's not just me, my husband seems more nervous this time around, he talks about it all the time, and we wonder what we will do if it fails.
Last night right before we were about to get into bed, my gardener guy gave me a big hug and said to me "I'm so scared about Saturday", well your not the only one, we are trying to stay strong, its just like hell, all this waiting is a nightmare. My gardener guy is a sensitive wee guy, this has become more apparent over the last few months, I feel this has made our marriage stronger than ever, to have a strong marriage is essential through all this. We are lucky to have each other.
I guess there is nothing more to say, we just wait now, nothing at this point can provide distraction or help. This plays with your mind and leaves you mentally exhausted. I need a rest.
On a lighter funnier note, the vaginal issue seems to have magically sorted itself out, I got a call from the clinic and apparently it was thrush, I have to get cream if it flares back up again, but at the moment it's ok. The nurse did say thrush is very common in early pregnancy, so what do I read into that? Was I pregnant and am i now not because the thrush has gone? or does having had it mean I am pregnant? we don't know whether to take the thrush as a good sign or not. Who knows.
A line from sex and the city, that just came to me last night for no reason, and I think this is simple but quite true. Carrie is depressed in Mexico after big not going through with their wedding, she ask's one of the girls "when will I ever laugh again" and one of them replies "when something really funny happens". Simple but true. A few days later Charlotte Pooed her pants after eating too much chocolate pudding and Carrie laughed. Something really funny happened and she laughed, and I guess if this all fails and goes horribly wrong, I too will be feeling 'when will I ever laugh again' and i guess I will, when something really funny happens. Now I'm not suggesting that one of my friends should eat mass amounts of pudding and hold it all in, then come over to my house and poo their pants just to make me laugh, but I guess I will get my funny thing one way or another.
But we are not going to need something like that to make us laugh, because when we get out positive result on Saturday we will be laughing all the way to the baby shops. Laughing, screaming, skipping, hugging, and not a fake smile in sight. I suppose then we will have plenty of poo in the pants to deal with, Although after hundreds and hundreds of nappies, I'm not sure it will hold quite the same humour as Charlotte from sex & the city pooing her pants.