So it's done, Our wee 8 Cell Embryo is in. Everything about our hopefully to be baby is determined, its sex, hair colour, eye colour. how amazing! As the doctor's say I'm now pregnant until proven otherwise. I feel really quite emotional knowing our embryo is in, all it needs to do now is implant itself. Go on embryo, burrow yourself in there, get in nice and tightly. Above is the picture we were given of it, wow! Kind of looks like me! kidding......
Today went really smoothly, I started drinking my water to get a full bladder, and can I just say that is not fun. All the drugs, all the needles, the egg retrieval, piece of cake, having a full bladder when they are putting a catheter into your uterus is so so so uncomfortable! so first we had a talk with the scientist, he explained that we have an 8 cell embryo, a 9 cell embryo and a 10 cell embryo. The 8 Cell was the best, so that's why that went back in today. He is going to leave the other 2 in the lab to see if they get to the blastocyst stage, then freeze them. We find out about this on Friday, so the stress never ends. After we saw him, I went and got my gown on again in my cubicle and waited, then into theatre, they had a look at what was going on inside me with a scan on my tummy, then got the catheter ready and in it went, we were able to see the embryo go in on the monitor, it was like a little white dot that shot in, was very cool. One of the nurse's even said, "oh that's cute", really?, I think you have been looking at far too many embryos! After it was done I was able to empty my bladder, thank god! that was such hard work. On our way out we got our blood test date and some more bloody pessaries, oh great.
Now the dreaded wait begins, I've been here before and sometimes it can be worse than all the treatment. It's isolating as your not hearing from the clinic everyday, its just me and my Gardener Guy nervously waiting. I start to drive myself a bit insane, I over analyze things, I battle not to think about what it will be like to have our baby, and really just spend the whole time preparing myself for the worse. That result day is pretty much the scariest day ever, I wouldn't wish that feeling upon anyone, extreme hope, excitement, and then horribly low sadness and anger all in a blink of an eye. Its hard stuff. Through this whole journey it has been my emotions and what is going on up in my head that has given me the most grief, as I'm sure many of you know it's so hard to even begin to explain to other people what it's like, unless they have been there, and felt all these things, they just cant know. And thank god for that, I wouldn't want my friend's or family to feel how I have over the last 2 years, and especially over the last 4 - 5mths. Perhaps I can help someone one day if they do happen to go through this, I would then know why I went through all this, to help my friend or family member.
So everyone, There is a miracle growing inside me now to look after, I am on bed rest for today and all of tomorrow, so lots of watching movies and sleeping, after that I'm back to working but will be taking it easy. The day of our result is Saturday 19th Feb, so watch this space.
Today I wore a special charm bracelet that was given to me by my mother in law, and as I was lying on the bed in theatre and as they were inserting the catheter to put our embryo in, I gave the little four leaf clover charm a rub, and said in my head, let this work, let this give me luck, let all the support and love and good wishes we have had count for something. Let us have our baby.